so much more than I am

coming to terms 

with the fact

that I never really cared

I was just trying to fill the emptiness, 

the emptiness
 I feared

it would never disappear 

I feared
it would always be there

nonetheless 

why am I bothered 

when I never was when it mattered

as a matter of fact, 

I didn't care

why is it, that now I bare 

the brunt of that not-caring 

yeah, trying still 

to figure out
why I am 

the way I am 

when I know I can 

be so much more 

than this