Tuesday, 28 January 2014

dairy love

vegan sisters
absent others
nothing left
but a refrigerator
full of soy milk
and tofu
who knew, 
this is how it would be


a harrowing emptiness
to be filled
maybe by
poems in a library
maybe by 
trying to understand
such as
a universal hollow
or maybe by
wandering in the rain
drinking tea
                               physical pain
no longer able to blame
anything or anyone
but circumstance
but yet to always
be wandering
and wondering
and missing
and wishing
that things change
and so there 
in that somali resturant
feeling at home
and like a stray cat
in a city, in fact
sure nights are black
and sort of cold
because its getting old
and nobody knows
what its like 
                                     to withhold
 physical pain

Sunday, 26 January 2014

time is (forever) runnnnnnningggggggggg outtttttttttt

nah, you never understood it
                                     the urgency in my voice 
each rushed and impulsive choice
I made
naaah            you never understood it
our time was running out
                             you never understood it
our time was running out                              
          I was losing            sleep 
                                          thinking about 
how our time was running out
you didn't know it
I did. I was rushing about
talking to clocks
trying to convince
             all big hands to stop
ticking,    I tried convincing
                                                            the sun to quit turning, 
just for a while
ten million years maybe
now it's all so hazy
-----almost like a vague dream
                                                      that never was

-naaah, you never understood it-

vertigo beautiful

vertigo beautiful
you're one of a kind
vertigo beautiful 
the One, did he bind
our dreams together
vertigo beautiful 
I hope we never 
lose each other
lose touch with forever
may we seek to uncover
to understand
life's secretly grand
plans for us
in God we trust
girl, I look forward
to seeing you 
in another world, 
perhaps by another river
beautiful vertigo 
i hope our dreams
won't entirely wither
away into nothingness
love to you

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

cassette in my head: why

lately i been feeling so low
don;'t matter how hard i try
i can't seem to let go
i can't seem to forget 
its like there's this cassette
in my head
and it's been playing
on repeat
don't matter how hard I try
somehow I just keep
winding up here
cut off, 
                 at loss
with old demons 
I can see them
and they can see me 
if only I could remove the shackles
and finally be free
lately I been feeling so low
don't matter how hard I try 
I just can't seem to let go
one day 
I really hope I come to know
            and understand


Saturday, 4 January 2014

smoke and storm

caught in a storm
blown by the wind
the light grows dim
and the smoke engulfs
there is nothing

Friday, 3 January 2014

shawshank jigsaw

your life is a film
a great epic
something like
shawshank redemption
but richer and sadder
                    bigger and madder
now you're in an open prison
working and teaching
paying your dues
and often and often and often
I think about you
I think about your jigsaw life
and now when they say
                                I'll end up like that
before the the gates close
I'm no longer offended
rather I wonder if I could spend it
in the same way---- this fleeting existence, 
travelling forever
living out of a bag
leaving no trace
no numbers and nothing to brag
about, no, just living in a way 
the dead living 
would never understand, one day
tell me your story
i promise I won't write it down. 

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

insomnia's children

-------------------night walkers
flight's daughters
--------------inflicted with sleeplessness
mystique and thus
a never-ending thought
nothing but darkness
the dark         
                          kind of insomnia
the kind that won't ever go away
always always always awake
and never asleep
no we never found a way to keep
hold of the dreams
that sometimes turned 
into nightmares
slight cares
voyaging through
dark and lonesome thoroughfares
                            the kind of insomnia
that won't ever go away
forever wide awake 
                                     at night
asleep during the day
but still 
never quite there
in the present
in the present that is
not the present
in the illusion that came 
and went
-------------------------------you spent
too much time with the moon

elephant rain and fading shadows

over a year 
has it really been that long
I braved the storm 
to see you 
from elephant in the rain
to the back ends of bermondsey
pass the goldfinches
and the south asian factory from the past
pass the piles of cotton
oh dear, I've forgotten to take off the mask
too busy walking the dirt paths, 
the gali's, -----to the sound 
of the rickshaw,
but being there in the empty studios
the three of us again
drinking pineapple juice
out of wine glasses
soaking in neon melancholy----
and talking about magic
about hawksmoor
gone and re-gone,
d'you know how much I adore
you both
the only couple 
that makes me want to get married
so I can have that
friendship and love
prancing in masks
plaiting plastic blonde hair
knotting and knitting
we never had to ask,  
macrame, tea
the basement in the black
the red light that guides
the car ride, mourneful sighs
the station
faith is life
life is love and love is sad
and full of sorrow
but beautiful nonetheless