Thursday 28 February 2013

mind from head

get out of you head
get out of your head
stop waiting 
stop thinking
stop lurking
stop sinking 
into the ground
unbound
yourself 
get out of your head
get out of your head
and instead
work for a cause
be the person 
you once were
but different 
work for a cause
'cause you're wasting
your life, floating through
barely getting by
ever tired-
ever wired
get out of your head
get out of your head
i'm so out of my head
i'm so out of my head
take arms against 
all the harm 
that's crushing you  
and your spirit 
you're going to make it
you're going to be fine
you're going to get through this
don't let it define 
who you are now
don't let it eat up your hours
your minutes and days
whatever happens 
don't let it happen 
this way
stop waiting 
stop waiting 
get out of your head
I'm so out of my head
I'm so out of my head

to be me again

...this time last year
as i lay on the rooftop ledge-
a silent tear
of sadness slid from my eye,
i carried on gazing up
at the Indian sky,
all the while
i was listening to that same song
I wasn't wrong
back then I wasn't wrong
I was just lost
but a different kind of lost
I'm bearing the cost
for that kind of 'lost' now. 
and still these feeling won't go away
they've been knocking me sideways
and when I've already got so much
shit on my mind, you find
a way to make it worse, stranger. this curse
I need to break it,
 but it get's harder as I move
sideways, I never know
which way I should go
for life now has become a string
of no-shows
for etched flesh says 'go slow'
so I ghost so
I ghost-
I missed it,
I missed out on
a million meetings
a million greetings
of joy and happiness
and peace
on the surface 
I'm at ease
and I'm smiling still
and trying to mend
myself, trying to find the will
to go on, but every time I get close
something bad happens
and something bad
keeps happening
and I can't escape
the present
I wish it would lessen-
the hurt, but you keep pouring 
petrol on a dying fire
when all I require
is a thousand drops of water
just let dying embers- be.
I just wish
I could be tested
when I'm better prepared
and better rested
for I can't do these long
and deep conversations
without my mind
and Lord, the pain
I hate talking about the physical pain
but I'm going insane
I've been trying to remain strong
but maybe I really do belong
in Springfield
I know
I know
I promised myself
I wouldn't write sad poems any more,
but if I store
these feelings inside, they'll choke me
they'll revoke me
of all privaleges
I want to let go
I want to be free
I want to just be
me again-!

Monday 25 February 2013

miscommunication-

miscommunication
the abrupt discontinuation; 
of yet another 
empty conversation
or rather
a lack of words
from the onset, 
for these ghost words- 
be the reason I incur
so much weightiness 
throughout time
for they remain lodged inside  
haunting, the words I never said
unspoken words; they've led
me down the path to ruin
they've led to this  
ceaseless confusion-
to yet another 
mistaken attribution
to this- what is this?
and now,  
it's happening again
you've got me wrong 
you've misunderstood
and I never could 
correct you or anyone 
else, I'm outside myself
I wish you would just understand
I never planned, for this.  
without words- I wish you would 
just know. I wish you would 
just get me and my strange ways 
and know that every time 
I go into a daze
I think about nothing 
and everything too
sometimes, 
rarely
I think about you 
but words, 
the right words
I never could do
maybe in these poems 
but in reality, 
and to a number 
of reality's children 
-nothing...

Sunday 24 February 2013

autumn afternoons, water and light.

I miss those mid-afternoon
swims, in Dalston 
and the peace that would follow-
in a beautiful Turkish mosque
I would lie on the carpet
hair still damp under my headscarf, 
body spent from running fast- 
from the walks
in the cemetery that came after  
and there, as I lay,
there as I lay
watching the light stream in
and the chandelier glass grace the ceiling
with shadows and light
It would wash over me
peace-
there was a time 
I would travel
from mosque to mosque 
a stranger-
with only one task
to pray 
to pray 
to pray 
to the One Lord
to the Lord of the heavens and the earth
I miss those days
when my forehead would graze
the warm earth, the cold concrete
as I made sajood
on another the nameless street
one must never admit defeat 
one must continue to seek
that feeling of being 
at one, with Oneness.

cold rain and nails

the joker said to the thief
i've had about enough of this 
shitty grief
go ahead, rob me 
kill me, just drill me 
to the ground 
let the cold hard rain
pound
against my flesh 
lest, i resolve  
to remain silent
till i dissolve
till there's nothing left
thief, it will be better than theft 
it'll be atonement 
for you'll be transforming
this un-funny clown;
this heart
without fire
into a pedestrian martyr-

truman complex

He looked at me then and said 
'd'you ever feel like Truman? 
d'you ever feel not quite human? 
I do, all the time-
I'm still trying to find 
the exit, the back door
if life is a stage, I'd rather opt for 
anonymity
authenticity
see, I've unwittingly
become the protagonist 
of a story written
for me, by a director 
I cannot see. A director, I cannot fathom
and so I'd opt for the back door, 
I'd opt to find my real home
somewhere far away from the lights 
of this city, from the hidden camera's
puppets and props-
seeking tangibility, I've got lots
to prepare for....

Saturday 23 February 2013

vacancy: a gradual process

I blame myself for our estrangement
and for the (vacant) displacement
of our souls...

-seeking actuality

Ya Allah, I miss You
re-enter my reality
make the hereafter an actuality
I've been waiting forever
if I were clever
I would not wait
rather I'd seek to create
a new connection with You
Lord, I miss You.

sweet aimlessness

-walking forever
walking wherever
will I ever
get there?
I think never...

To my Friends

dear friends
I just want to say 
thank you 
I know I don't deserve to 
receive the kindness
and love that you 
bestow upon me, I'm grateful
I'm sorry I'm unable 
to be better than I am
I know, most days I'm not 
very good, at being a good friend
back, I often lack 
presence and often I
disappear  
without a word
but you're always there
for me when I return
I love you all and thank you 
for accepting me
just the way I am- 
you know, I plan
one day, to become someone 
worthy of your friendship...

Mammoth and Me

I've been slowly killing myself
by willing myself 
to carry on living in this way 
when every day 
is long and hard
when every day 
I remain barred 
from the path
still I am
absent 
silent
stll
and absent, silent, still 
I zone- 
out, so out
of this world
I'm stuck between 
this life and the afterlife
I lie awake
night after night 
absent, silent, still 
I work days on end 
all the while 
still trying to fend
off the demons that come to me 
from every side
there's no where to hide
and there in extinct, 
with scattered thoughts and
a woolly mammoth for company
his ruptured spleen
he slowly shakes his head 
as our eyes meet
prehistoric, esoteric
but he get's it
I'd ride with you anywhere
mammoth my pal 
I'd ride
a thousand miles into an ancient
ice age, maybe I would engage
in that place
maybe this rage
 inside would subside, 
maybe it would freeze
for now here I am
shaking, the ground beneath 
be quaking, again, and
and again i'm breaking
this soul is forsaking
me and the earth is waking, 
from it's fitful slumber-
to be free.
 I know a way back
I know the path, 
but it's long and winding
I unlocked the door 
last night, it was dark and cold 
it wasn't home
I fell asleep 
for the first time in forever
I know a way back...

Jamaica

I be movin' to Jamaica
to get me some sun
maybe I make friends
with a rasta man 
eat fish every day
jam to da reggae 
I need the tropics, for some healing
I be kneelin', I be prayin' to God 
deliver me, Lord I want to be 
somewhere where 
the sun always shines
I be crossing lines,
I be crossing this border, in order
to feel again, 
I be movin' to Jamaica

Sorry

I communicate in these poems 
words that I can never say-
perhaps no one reads them
but if you are reading, 
sorry, sorry, sorry 
sorry I failed to make it yet again.
sorry for disappointing you when
I know you were relying on me
don't ever rely on me 
don't ever rely on a shadow
in the night-
d'you hear?

Wednesday 20 February 2013

supposed to be

I remembered all one hundred thousand of you
last night, and as I bypassed through
memories, of each and every journey
just like that I knew, what brought me to this place,
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be-
though sometimes it's hard to see
clearly, there is magic and wonderment 
in every moment and
I saw it in a strangers eyes;
remnants of yesterday's sunrise
and though most of you have gone away
I forever want to stay- here, 
see, I've never been one to live in fear,
though fear follows me around
like a black cloud, and every now and then 
it pours down
rains of uncertainty, but certainly- I am here.
I am exactly where 
I'm supposed to be.
and I have to believe, 
that I can be good 
and still be me, still be a free-spirit;
spirited and free. I love to meet 
strangers on streets
to share ideas and stories, 
raw beauties and mistaken glories.
I can. and I am, exactly where I'm supposed to be. 
I mean, honestly- it's not that I want to fail 
it's not that I want to trail 
behind you. It's just that-
 I love living this life 
it's the only life I know. The only life I've lived 
that's why I drift, it's who I am. 
I wonder, can I really be good 
and still be me, can I still be- 
free...?

the part that dreams

you took him 
under your wing
and solemnly swore 
that you would bring
him around
instead you bound
him to earthly ground-
and now, he no longer 
dreams 
it seems, 
he lost 
part of himself 
At the cost 
of your 
'bringing him around'
that part of him 
to this day 
remains un-found

the psycho-cosmic kind

detach, do not latch
yourself onto anything 
or anyone
now, you've become 
someone, no one 
knows. absent. 
and they call it 
'running away'
but you you call it 
'moving on' 
you've gone 
away again, you said 
you fell into a black hole 
the psycho-cosmic kind
can I ask you, 
why did you leave 
your head behind? 
you'll need it to get there
you'll need it to face the scare
now go back and find it
and don't come back 
until you do..

silence

Silence- 
earnestly 
I yearn for thee
I miss your company 
Silence-
so un-expecting 
so accepting
so calm and kind
so happy to just mind
your own, silence 
and let me mind mine
Silence- 
can you find
me, again?
I wonder why 
it's such a crime
to be quiet 
in this noisy 
world...

Friday 15 February 2013

to know, they don't.

-to quit, 
at a pivotal moment
is to disown it
is to hone in on 
what is really needed-
for one to
not be reprieved
for quitting 
rather to be praised 
for 'sitting'
out 
for going about
it in a way 
deemed unfit
to a nobody 
who will never 
understand 
for most people
don't
they won't 
they can't
understand 
and when you 
understand
that
it's not
in their ability to
you'll stop 
the hurt
hurting
its that space
that space that exists
between living
and sharing
the gap,
its like the waters under
the Golden Gate Bridge
in San Francisco
do you know
what I'm sayin'?

distract me

go ahead, distract me 
exact me 
in whatever
but i will never,
speak 
and i will never seek 
refuge in
you...

Thursday 14 February 2013

drop...

I'd like to stop 
I'd like to drop 
off this earth for a bit
and return when
I've relearned 
the purpose of life
so can I go?
do you give me permission
can i cut off,
till I'm okay?
or would be wrong
for me to say
'so long'
everyone...?

scars

old scars
etched upon this ageing soul
you stole- my everything

on a different planet

it's going to get better, right? 
it has too, i wish you 
said that 
with a bit more 
conviction-
still in confliction
this mind body and soul
what's the goal
the end goal? 

Wednesday 13 February 2013

talking to myself (in rhymes)

be open 
be kind
leave the past behind-
clarity
it finally came to me
i'm going back to plan one
i'm going to stop being 
a troubled bum
i'm going to give up these
selfish ideas of being
someone
else I'm going to save up
and learn how I can make it up
to earth's forgotten children
the goal- thirty grand
buy that land 
on indian soil
and my soul
exhales. Till I get there
I'll earn, I'll work, I'll write
but on my own terms
in my own way, 
I'll take photographs
some day when I feel like it
i'll find a way 
to say
what I need to say
I'll focus on the end
it will be for you
I'll regain my purpose too
it will be for You
I'll stop being self indulgent
and peacefully endure the pain
and remain
patient, silent, smile
on the way never stop smiling
and on my journey
i'll discover
and try to figure
out how it's going to happen
how I'm going to make this dream
a reality
I've got a reason to live
I've got so many reasons
but they change
and change again
but now 
right now i'm on track
i've got it back
clarity, mad clarity
it just came to me
the disparity
between what I wanted to happen
and what actually happened
it's not so great
fate, you're funny
you really are
and hell you've got answers 
to questions
heaven never dares to ask
i know i've unlocked a secret
to myself
see I was reading my book 
on the tube today 
after six months
I was reading the book I wrote
and it came to me 
mad clarity
I think I can finally die happy
I've learnt so many of life's secrets
 from the inside out
and the outside in
It was an epiphany 
a sign 
after all this time-
after a long dry season 
these cycles; 
it's the in-between that matters
I'm not in the same place
there and here
a million moments in-between 
time elapsed 
perhaps, I know what I've got to do 
I know it's not so simple
there is a fine line
between knowledge and belief
fear and relief
and it's not what happens
its how you make sense of it 
the pieces fit
this vicious cycle esists
to be broken
so you're 
stuck in a time loop
stuck in the same day 
you have to pick the right way
this time
time time time
it doesn't exist
if it does
it isn't linear  
I want to shout out from rooftops
I figured it out 
somehow I understand now
Pain is not random
its written in tandem
to teach 
to re-teach 
to protect and don't expect it to be the same
the pain, don't expect it to be easier 
but now you've grown 
and you've got the tools
to better deal with it
soldier on like you did before
smile- 
persistence 
resistance 
this is what existence
has taught you
this is what life is about
to be strong 
its okay to be wrong 
sometimes
just move on and don't torture yourself 
with the question
with why
why 
why
it couldn't be prevented 
its defending you 
trying to help you through   
your brief sojourn into madness 
you were about to make some dire mistakes
maybe you would have compromised your faith?
Maybe you wouldn't have come away unscathed
this saved
you
there truly is beauty in destruction 
now carefully follow the instructions
to recovery
stick to it 
dust yourself you
endure with patience 
stay strong
remain grounded
un-confounded
and whatever happens 
STICK TO THE PLAN!

Tuesday 12 February 2013

Take the Plunge

dear, so happy to see you 
finally chasing your dreams 
you're taking a plunge
and the path before you
it gleams, so bright 
you'll do better than alright
inshAllah, friend 
you're going to make it!
I'm so happy to see you
chasing your dreams 
and it seems
you've inspired me 
to do the same...

a hologram

a hologram 
is that what i am?
is that what you are?
a flimsy coloured shape
a cosmic battle scar
originating from outer space
burst forth from a dying star 
its particles escaped
and fused together 
to create 
a hologram 
is that what I am
is that what you are
are we the sole remnants 
of a broken star?

Monday 11 February 2013

-before combustion

here i am
close to breaking
close to forsaking
everything and everyone
I know.
I know
I know-
I need to undergo
a transformation
I need to
come out of the darkness and
into illumination
oh predestination
you're taking me places
these chases
you've me running
though tunnels
dark, everlasting
and i'm gasping
for breath
I can't slow
and
now I can't go
back
this hearts turned black
this minds gone whack
it's hard to keep track
of where I should be
here i am
it's numbing
and i'm rushing
i'm shutting
them out
i'm buckling- as i shout
into the void
echoes destroyed
by noise-proof walls
cold, so high
I keep asking why
I keep asking why
I keep asking why
man just wish I
could feel
something
other than distance
see its lonely
i've only
got 'me'
and 'me' is
slowly
fading...

got wings

...out of the city
into the country
seagull, you
beat me there-
that's not fair
i complained
you've got wings
I haven't...

beauty in destruction

in a dream,
a stream of visions
one after the other,
they smother-
colours, faces, noises
a million and one voices
each speaking in
different tongues
I try to breathe 
but my lungs
won't take in the air 
the voices,
keep on unaware
of my suffering 
i'm mustering 
the courage to go on 
i make choices
but sometimes I can't 
because I can't 
speak 
and I can't speak 
because this tongue 
is possessed
and i'm distressed
because the words
won't come out
but still
 I can't complain,
I can't moan,
for this mouth is on loan
from the one, and I have to run
with it. But I lose myself
at times
I shout silently
into the crowds
my lungs weary 
and empty
there is beauty 
in destruction 
and when I can't function
I understand it
the beauty
it's moody 
but calm 
it comes in waves
and it's hard not to drown
but the harder it becomes
the wider I smile 
at the tourists 
of the world 
thoughts gone wild
human kindness
is overwhelming
and each smile 
heals something inside me
it makes me want to be
better,
it makes me want to hug a leper
so till i can, I will,
smile and fight for the right 
to live, to be happy and grateful 
there is beauty in destruction
in this production 
of darkness
bad things come in a series
one after another 
each worse than the other
but there is beauty in destruction
believe me,
this beauty
comes after complete and utter
self-combustion. 

Saturday 9 February 2013

traveller swagger

traveller swagger
he moves, with dark circles
under his eyes
a bag on his back
a hood over his head
he seems to lack 
what non-travellers 
call 'courtesy' 
he doesn't do it purposely
he's just so far removed
from reality, he's more than confused
in actuality, he's already somewhere else
for him the days and nights merge
and time always blurs
he sleeps wherever
never, self-conscious
never fully conscious
never truly aware
of where
he is 
traveller swagger
stagger on, man...

chronic

chronically ill
chronically still
against ones will
chronic occurs
chronic stirs-
something within
chronic-
you're uncomfortably stable
incurably able
to throw one off track
you never slack, chronic
you're impossible, apathetic
calculating, mathematic-
chronic you're immovable
chronic you're irremovable
chronic, you drive me up the wall
chronic-
i don't like you at all.

metaphysical

it's hard to explain
this metaphysical pain
that overcomes me
most days i feel so lonely
in myself
see, ordinary people
they'll never understand this hell
so I no longer tell
them about it. 
me, i don't want sympathy
i just want a little reassurance
that i'm not completely mad
that this pain exists-
i miss the bliss
of yesterday
i wish this hurt
would go away
most of the time
 i soldier on,
I hide behind a smile
and for a while
everthing seems
to be okay
it's hard for me to say
it's hard for me to know
what's what
so I continue to seek refuge
in these words that I jot
down, in these sad poems
these sad woe-ms...

just the present

funny how 
you're inhibitions die
when you're trying so hard
to stay alive
every day and 
every day, I strive
to be better, in every way
and in every way
I pray
for it to be over
not the entirety
just this one chapter, 
just the present.

i ran

I ran 
I ran
I didn't plan
to get so far
so fast
now
at
long last
the earth
stands still
and i'm
waiting
to
overcome
the ill
within

crumpled bird corpse

the crumpled corpse
of a magpie
that fell from the vacant sky
and landed here
on the tooting road side
feathers still irridecent
but beady eyes, lackluster
mr magpie
can no longer muster
a single blink, a simple blink
for he already did sink
into another place.

to a friend

i'll miss you
i really will
who will fill
my time with
sweet conversation
and joy, oh boy
don't go
i'm dying

corporate swagger

corporate swagger
hands in pockets
of your perfectly ironed trousers
a short sprint across the city road
those signature white headphones
insulating, insinuating
and that confident gait
ahh corporate swagger
you just wait-
till it gets you

thoughts incomplete

sitting on the coach
flitting across the
landscape
another lone escape
another journey 
inwards and outwards
hopefully towards 
something...
I listen to camera obscura
as I leave the city behind
'you're not a teenager
so don't act like one'
still that same bum
is staring back at me
through the window
i'm still eighteen
 i'm still making
a beautiful mess of things
but with my rucksack at my feet
and possibilities in my head
i will not let myself be misled
by thoughts incomplete..

empty living

sitting in macdonalds
alone in some random town
counting down
the seconds, the minutes
the hours
 life overpowers
this solitary creature
teacher
you never prepared me
for this! -emptiness

dustbin man swagger

dustbin man swagger
he leans coolly against the wall
waiting for the crisp pack to fall
into the bin...

boat

a boat
called 'easily misled'
fled
the harbour at night
it followed
an albatross
all the way across
the ocean to norway
inside a child
woke up and
walked out onto the deck
the northern lights shone
tiny flecks of colour
that once belonged
to innocents eyes

get a grip

get a grip
you say
as i trip over-
over and over
grazed knees
damp leaves
stick to my skin
i dust
myself off and
quietly
walk on
wishing you
were gone
wishing you
were wrong
in saying
get a grip

loner, un-know her

loner
un-know her
go back to a time
there was only you
for two
cannot exist
together
born alone
we die forever
loner
un-know her
maybe then
you'll find
what you're 
looking for

lavender and memories

she said
sniff the lavender
i brought from the girl
at wimbledon superdrug
where I sometimes i worked
i told her so and she told me no
way, she was moving
to the clapham branch-
told her they're all nice
told her where to have lunch
she asked me my name
and i gave it to her
i didn't stop to think-
they'll know then soon
that I didn't disappear
that I'm still here-
drifting
the old gang
tell them I've gone out
with a bang
a silent bang
I planned
to visit
I did. 

generation of niazi's

all this time i thought
it was just me
buts its this generation
of niazi's
we're all chasing
shadows in our minds
we're all trying to find
some semblance
of normality

golden calf

...girl you wore a woolly hat
instead of your head scarf
i wonder did you feel like moses
without his staff? the golden calf
laughs at you now...

coach sky

coach fly
coach crash against the sky 
let us be enveloped
by the clouds 
so high-
above us

this one life

sitting in a cafe
wishing my life away
wishing the pain away
wishing for another day
an easier way
to get through
this one life

wait rose

did you know 'waitrose'
was named after an eager bud 
who grew in winter

pfc's

holy pfc
a place in whitechapel
that sells baptized chickens
fried up
they art holy
and they art wholly
chicken

royal pfc
a place in whitechapel
that sells king and queen
chickens, fried up
and served with a choice
of fine burger sauce
or regal ketchup

pavement pain

crouching down on the pavement 
or on the roadside under the moon 
repeating the mantra in my head
'be patient kid- it will go away soon'
I wait and I wait and I wait
for the pain to fade away
is it sad that -slowly- 
I'm getting used 
to living this way? 
ahh leave to myself, aye? 
for i've grown impatient of you
and your inability to understand
I can no longer stand 
explaining, it's draining 
me of everything I have

more than nothingness

stranger
you don't know me
but i wish you did
i wish we knew each other
it might make life
a lot easier
maybe, next time say hello
so that our non-existant
relationship can grow
into something kinder
friendship maybe
or maybe just
something more
than complete
nothingness
perhaps
if we
avoid
the void
and create
a connection
we can connect
to something more beautiful
than an empty train station
in the darkest of nights

Sunday 3 February 2013

forests and sands

dark miles-

did dark miles 
cure me 
of my g.a.d
or am I still crazy 
it's all so hazy 
in my head 
scientifically 
could I
already be dead?
ahh g.a.d
is that what this is?
see, something's a-miss
it cannot be explained
I've been maimed
I've been injured 
by who and what 
i don't know
i don't know
maybe he does in the sky 
that noisy black crow
hmm maybe it did, 
dark miles
at first 
but hailing a car
in the night woods
heart thumping 
legs crossed
scared
most of all 
i feared
that it wasn't
a nightmare
it was real 
and i could feel
myself fading
pulse racing
amidst trouble 
strength comes
from somewhere
deep within
it is given by the One
my Lord,
disposes of it 
Ya Allah
I trusted You
and I flew 
I floated
my feet did not touch 
the ground 
I made it out 
of the woods
under the stars
after being
in a cell 
for so long
the freedom 
once empowering
rendered me vulnerable 
once a leader
i was now a refugee
once
I was an honest believer
i was now
an escapee
now back here
in my cell 
wondering 
was yesterday 
really 
real? 
and if it was
did i heal 
at all 
or am I in the same 
place i was
before it happened
i want to be 
me 
again-
madre 
padre
I miss you.
stay away from 
prescription drugs...

Friday 1 February 2013

everything-ness

'danger danger!'
the park ranger 
bellowed
as he ran across 
the empty plain-
at the edge of the 
horizon 
three old men 
from Trinidad 
played the steel pans,
their fans 
gladly rejoiced
the horses galloped
the bisons danced
the flowers and trees
went into an unearthly trance 
swaying backwards and forwards
they slowly edged towards us
beside me
mr goldfish stood up straight
for fate had presented him 
with a new mate
a golden sunflower
with a secret power
to destroy planet earth
I watched on mirth 
in my eyes
at the surprise
of this everythingness-

any wonder

rendered 
ever weak 
every week 
i tried to be better
then last night
i re-read that letter 
i wrote to You
i read it and 
i realized
the truth
the truth is
You gave me 
everything 
i ever asked for 
and in return 
i broke every 
promise
i ever made 
its time for me to fade- 
away,
i know i've over-stayed 
my welcome
seldom, do I make
this mistake
oh, sorry fate
i don't know 
what's real and what's fake
for peace's sake 
is it any wonder 
my life has 
gone asunder
again?

window ledge

...in the early hours of the morning 
she sits at her window ledge 
and looks out onto the street
once in a while a a cool breeze 
hits her face
and in the orange streetlight glow
she spells out words from below
from 'disabled' she makes words
like able and bed and sad and led
 and sometimes
she lets her legs dangle 
the wind blows through her toes
and she knows, then 
deep down everything will be okay
but that's not to say 
she doesn't think about it 
in truth, she'd like to slide down the roof
for the thrill, to escape the still
life she's leading and
the crazy -ish she be dealing 
with in her head.

heaven -sent

slowly goin' blind
slowly losin' my mind
all the while
still tryna find
out what's wrong with me
man i can no longer
see so good no more
I no longer lock
the cellar door
in case I fall asleep
in case I can no longer reach
that place I have to reach
how can I teach
myself patience again
how can I, when patience
be heaven-sent...

head plumber

my brain be clogged
needs to be unblocked
know any good  
head plumbers?

letter to my heart

dear heart,
when did you depart 
from me? see you still beat 
but not with feeling, 
you say you need healing 
heart, 
but I think its about time to start
acting right again-
listen, dear heart,  
you mustn't admit defeat 
just take the heat
and move on
the past is gone 
forever 
it's time to get it 
together-

same species

To Edward Said's
'others'
we gotta work twice as hard 
as our humanoid brothers
who show no mercy
we're equally worthy
it's important for us, friends, to 
trust 
no one 
and everyone too
but whatever you do
don't let your anger brew 
because at the end of the day 
we're the same species 
believe me 
as much as it grieves me 
we're not so different
'them' and 'us'
so rise up 
and never stop 
trying to make 
a difference
never stop
trying to make
things right

mad clarity, he doth speak-

modernity-
for all eternity 
I'd like to stay away
in the short time I've know you 
you've thrown my life into disarray 
I don't understand you, modernity
you robbed me of the certainty 
I once possessed 
with smoke, tool and vice
you enticed me 
but now, modernity-
eternity is waiting 
and I choose to 
go back