Sunday, 29 December 2013

roads called destruction

for there are
so many roads ahead of me
but they all lead 
to place called destruction
yeah there are so many roads to take
there are so many people waiting for me to make
that choice to be free, but not free
just wrong. I don't want to go down
any of those broken roads that beckon
I don't want to meet 
any of them people that reckon
I'd be happier living their way, by their rules
no rules at all, adhering to desires
no sooner will it transpire---- sheer emptiness 
for I know it already 
and I promised I'd never give up on the path
the path
                                               I've been wandering (backwards)
for so many years, 
lord, I won't
I won't, I won't
follow them into the darkness
I won't follow them anywhere
I told them already
I'm waiting on You
and You alone, all else
is just pass-time, 
Lord this won't be the last time
I ask for guidance
Lord, help me find a way ///(out)

Saturday, 28 December 2013

so god-damn beautiful

you looked so god-damn beautiful
it broke my heart
you looked so god-damn beautiful
it broke my heart
you're my best friend for life
my best friend for life
now your someone else's wife
my love, as I held your hand
there on that stage
as I made you laugh
I felt myself fade
into someone else, 
into your beautiful shadow
I felt bad though
//////////////-----yeah I was overcome
                                             by the strangest feeling
giving you away
having dinner with your mum
and feeling part of your family
at long last, 
yeah your mum, she kept us apart
                                   and so she can love me
she can love me now
                        that you're safe

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

a haunted kind of feeling

maybe its the graves
maybe its the screams
maybe its the way
you come at me in my dreams
/a haunted kind of feeling/

maybe it's the places
maybe its the faces
that dark dark darkness
that sparse sparse sparseness
heart, heart, heartless
/a haunted kind of feeling/

maybe its the wards at night
maybe its the shadows with(out) fright
looking down    
                                           from such a great height
/a haunted kind of feeling/

maybe I'm still reeling
from that time the heavy hospital ceiling
fell on my head
                                and I was left for dead
no I never said

a haunted kind of feeling
a haunted kind of feeling
----here I be still spieling
                                                                 on about a haunted kind of feeling
//////respite, no more

sums that don't add up

I miss you, I miss you
I wonder whether all them
old myths were true
in the end, I would like to lend
you more than only subtractions
minus minus minus
all that I took away from you
I miss you, I miss you
I wonder whether all them
old myths were true
I wonder where I'll be tomorrow
or next year
Lord knows I'd like to be
                       some place other than here
////////////////////this junction
this same treacherous junction
another deduction
minus the clarity
multiply the confusion
/////////here at a junction
                                                                             called                           nowhereness
                            but where are you? 
are you between two 
worlds, both equally unreal
the sums don't add up
because you took away
without saying anything
but I wonder
what is there left to say
in this big world full of empty words
except maybe
I miss you, I miss you
I wonder whether all them
old myths were true
/////////forget it

that be life

don't you forget girl 
that we're all essentially alone
I admit I was thrown
I was proper hurt
but then I remembered
             //////////////////that be life
that be life
you just got to rise
up and be stronger than that
see that be life
that be life
that be the nature of human people
illusory and transient
invisible and absent
here one minute gone the next
and when you live like I do
you don't often get vex
you don't ever forget
that things were once true
even if they stop being that way
maybe someday
truth will reign
once again
who knows, all I know
is that we're all essentially alone
so don't go
calling anyone forever
so don't go 
expecting shit from anyone
that be life
that be life
you just got to rise
up and keep going
/////////////                     //////////////////////////////////////

Monday, 23 December 2013

free tilikum

the orca
from the aurora
and brought down 
to the sick sick world
of seaworld
a dark place
where human people hurl
fish for tricks
more money for more pricks

-free tilikum-

the captured orca,
from the aurora 
residing to this day
in that sick sick place
of seaworld

there tilikum stares at his scars
through the reflections in the glass
orca, from the aurora
you deserve to see the stars
from the sea so far
from this sick world
of seaworld.
of human people

-free tilikum, free tilikum, free tilikum-

orca divine
why did humankind
capture you, 
you weren't created
for a lonely life of trauma

free tilikum, free tilkum, free tilikum

whale psychosis
we're the most-est
screwed up 
species ever, ---- human people
how did you come to develop
a sick greed
the desire to breed 
more sad and angry tilikums
more orca's
destined to be brought to
concrete bath tubs
from mothers torn
a desire to be unborn///

free tilikum, free tilikum, free tilikum

Friday, 20 December 2013

cemetery blues

sitting there
on a broken tree trunk
in that
homely, lonely
feeling like
wishing the spirit
never left
me on my own
on my own
amongst decaying flesh
and bits of corroded bone
sitting there
in the december sun
trying to see clear
trying to come
to terms with a thing called death
i wish you never left
me, sitting there
amongst wrecked
 and worn graves
listening to waves
of noise, ///algorithms///the crows
the children's laughter 
guard the
coming from the school 
the school i once attended
the dead say nothing,
as if thoroughly offended
by joy, by life
by, life
we will come to die
for none can defy
the inevitable

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

bingo babes/ granada grannies

granada grannies
the bingo babes of tooting
everyday you'll find them refuting
notions of aging
by engaging 
in sweet silly laughter 
friendship and play
they played bingo 
while speaking in a lingo
none would understand
and amongst them sat Mildred
a cocky loud-mouth gran
 determined to win back a grand
she lost, till then
poor Mildred was banned 
from entering the house till 12
but well
where else was there to go
but gala bingo
where all her friends were
enjoying life, 
granada bingo
a place lost in time
there she would sit
waiting, waiting waiting
for her number to come up 
/////////////////38- it came to late
as soon as she left 
it came on screen 
life is like that
d'ya get what I mean?
-granada grannies,
bingo babes, 
keep smiling in the face
---------------------------------of senility 

deptford creep

deptford creek
deptford creep
in the fog
it looked so bleak
in the fog
she looked so meek
deptford creek
deptford, it reeks
of blood now
and mud
 ------unnatural mud
on the surface,
her face
and scatters
amongst pieces of waders 
ripped into shreds
and pieces of raggedy
worn and hapless dreds
deptford creek
deptford creep
fox fur prayed
you would never meet

trippy london, day #673

the trippy moments
that made up a day
 two french rasta hippies
with rad moustaches gathered change 
in a quick exchange 
before jumping on the bus
and off again
at woodstock avenue
woodstock avenue
man, the view,
from above was near perfect
even on the surface
nothing close to ordinary
the carvings in the mud temple
in Wembley, the hole in the wall
an entertainment centre, all flash and secret
the broken little huts from the past
on either side of the tiny waterfall
the roofs were all
 caving in
the tin cans were dented in sin
and brent town hall 
memories of a wedding crashed
and getting lost in the woods at night
alone, as ever, 
the yellow sludgy stream
another toxic dream 
the empty beautiful pergola
almost unreal, completely deserted,
the setting purple sun
the flashes from a camera
that old restaurant owner who always
calls them darling in his posh
anglo-indian accent
and writing poetry
outside the poetry library at night
and never going inside
and getting in trouble for sleeping
pan-londonism-souf, norf, west and the rest
and latin american music
smoother than smooth
and more images than anyone can ever make 
sense of
like those two raggedy bums
sat together ever close
watching a tiny prehistoric scream
while grooming their long beards
and the 83 bus past that yellow building
retracing steps
the stadium
and places never known to exist
to exit
the trippy moments that make up a day
a hundred thousand to make up a life
girl what do you say?


we're living in it
diluted fiction
it doesn't really sit
well with the dreamer
its hard to see the
truth in anything
any more

Monday, 16 December 2013

december is cold

there, there, there
in another crowd I didn't know
there, there, there
no inhibitions, no caution to throw
to the wind,
there, there, there
I saw fire
I saw you through a haze of smoke
our eyes met girl, 
                                    but it was so broke
what we were, what we had
my rock, my fam, my truest blad
you were a stranger then
(how did that happen?)
--------------yeah life, its so sad
but I'll be so glad,
when you are, just know
                              you won't ever be erased
you won't ever be replaced, 
-------------you'll just be
another bitter-sweet memory
-true love, fades-
but forever we'll remain
this I promise you

now is all you have

living in the now
no clue where I'm going
but I know somehow 
I'll get there
and even if I don't
it's the journey that matters
though sometimes the journey
it shatters
all hopes of an ending
worth mending
the broken incomplete-ness
that exists, nontheless
we learn,
we learn 
to live in the moment
to make moments mean
something or nothing
nonsense or articulation
moments that happen, that are
like laughing every day
with other human people, strangers and friends
like accepting yourself and everyone,
like trying to spend
time with real time, with real life, with reality
else, and realising 
that it don't matter
no it won't matter, one day
so say, just say
 what you want
whatever's in your heart
or else the what-ifs will start
to carve craters in your soul
stealing parts of you
----- and taking a toll
on what's left of a life-----------
the One is watching over you
------so live well

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

chilli sauce and surreal

chicken cottage
the baubles on the ceiling
surreal observations
without any feeling
------of reality
like six pairs of eyes
from six shades of colour
dull the 
(lights) and turn it into home----
six pairs of eyes,
                      somewhat alone
looking up 
                                     at a single screen
------a black and white dream
with subtitles
////a sundial----
somewhere out there
like that sad old indian film
from the sixties
that they were all watching
the somali youth
man behind the counter
the two travellers in the booth
they found a
escape, chewing on fries
their eyes
set on the screen
the baubles fast-fading
-------a black and white dream
chilli sauce and the surreal
images that fill
(collective minds)//
//////our london life

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

as a kid in lahore

since I was a kid
I learnt to pick
myself up 
and keep going
i broke my foot
i split my chin
i lost all my friends
yet nothing could remove the grin
on my face
and the passion in my heart
to explore
yeah as a kid in lahore
i learnt how to explore
I learnt to pick myself up
after each and every fall
I learnt to walk 
before I could ever crawl 
and now
I'm just still that kid
who am I kiddin'
I'll never change who I am
and I don't want to-----

Monday, 9 December 2013

strange birds

another day
another lake
another chance
I failed to take
there listening to birdy
listening to strange birds
listening to strange birds
watching two cormorants 
                                      two cormorants perched
on two high high branch
there listening to strange birds
there listening to strange birds
-my wounded wings still beating,
you’ve always loved the stranger inside…(me)-
//////signs/////// ----beating---- 
just being there -----breathing----
just being able to stare
up at the big big sky
and down at the big big lake
to be able to decipher
the real from the fake
and in the sun 
they seek me out
and they look through my eyes 
into my vacant soul and say
the depths, I'll never know
or understand- 
human connection
yes life, it's strangely unfair
but so undeniably beautiful, 
that one ceases to care
about anything but the signs
beauty-----sublime signs (they mean everything)
but nothing, 
so don't read too much into them
for they'll just drive you mad
yet here- a dharma bum again,----so glad
for it feels so good

Sunday, 8 December 2013

namak mandi

you took me out 
of it
where I was
with water and wire
with loving and laughter
---no more
                                     the way you enhanced
my life with colours
with erasing smoke and somali strangers
speaking a tongue unknown
to know-----
it exists out there still 
there, with star-crossed plans
there singing terribly in grams
there in namak mandi
the salt market
you took it out of me
you took me out
of it
and I love you so much 
                                    for taking it out of me
-ten million billion times-

Friday, 6 December 2013

viking supreme

to be you 
to travel 
to trade snakes
to travel
to never put your foot on the breaks
to track wild animals
the wildest of all animals
----human people
to be you 
to just go
some place you don't know
to reside in jungles
to follow killer elephants
to go against the elements
to take no notice
of security codes
to have loads
and loads and loads
of courage
to be you
for here, now---
I'm disliking
-----everything I am

..wandering by the shore (un--sure)....

...time lapse, 
                              didn't happen... 
(unsure, on the foreshore)
                                           ---for sure, 
                              didn't happen...

Wednesday, 4 December 2013


they yawn
they mourn
the nights descent
the mornings arrival
is was made clear
in the bible
kempis says
kempis says
kempis says

magic cave steward

hmm to be 
in the crystal cave
to watch the waters cascade
to wander to and fro
in a grotto where few come and go
hmm it might be
more than slightly

there for you.

feeling sad
for all my friends
who are feeling sad
feeling bad
for all my friends
who are feeling bad
you're not alone
for it's a known
fact that we're living lives 
in parallels 
in the same city
in different cities,
in different parts 
of the world too
life is beyond strange, 
if only you knew
life is so sad
gosh if only we had
more time
if only we didn't have to
live our lives
in lonesome parallels
you there smoking
you there wandering
you there smashing it to pieces
me here-----sprinting
away, forever sprinting---
-love to you, all-
each and every one of you
/////we'll get through---

leaving without words (I have none)

sitting by the river
perhaps its time to reconsider
perhaps its time to reconfigure
to redeliver, 
an ending
I left again
without a word 
I left again
without a word
like a raging bird
trying to be caught
I sought
freedom, from human people
and that silly baroness
who I couldn't care less
about, and those 
hundred photos 
that meant nothing
nah I didn't give a shit
about any of it
even though
it was what 
I wanted my life to be about
where am I again?

deans yard

sitting on some -----------------
glorious ancient wall 
in st deans yard
like a bum; I was caught off guard
--------------------------I was off duty
I was overcome
by London's dis-beauty
//////a murky dawn
a feeling of forlorn
all around 
all around
the trumpets sound
and the school boys talk about history
as the motorcyclist 
lies on a stretcher
while the paramedics and police 
scrape metal off the floor
we all saw
it, ------a mortal
---------------fall through
a portal

where i go

everywhere I go
I meet people that I know
that know people that I know
that know
people that I know
s'why I gotta go 
some place far where 
don't nobody know
the people that I know
that know people that I know
that know people that I know
listen, I ain't like you
I don't want no success
I don't want no stress
I just wanna be
and free
I just wanna breathe

all creatures vets

//////mental one
she hugged a letterbox
before chasing a crazed fox
down mysore street
past two shops
one a barbers
one a hair salon
inside two human people, 
were filing one long talon
and mirroring acts 
of grooming
she stopped 
when she got
to all creatures vets
they don't treat just pets
but all wild wild animals
will they treat me?
she wondered
                             -before stepping inside
////you have reached your destination////

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

bill and terry's contraption

bill and terry
every night
they arrive by ferry
and in moonlight
they create like
these mad contraptions
on the shore of the thames
 yeah they spend
time creating 
strange contraptions
that transport them
to worlds unknown-----
worlds that know
nothing of

Sunday, 1 December 2013

k-pop at twilight

dancing to k-pop
in the empty park after dark
beneath the estates 
soufside, king georges, 
 the star forges
a friendship with the moon
the lake glistens
and the swans swoon
as we dance to kpop
after dark in the park
ah girl, we're still stark
mad (I've missed you)