Sunday 20 September 2015

highpoint

remember high point
the ghost bus from elephant
through the biblical landscapes
fields punctuated with trees
older than time
to freeze
a moment  of pure sublime
nah it weren't an escape 
but it came close,
gazing out the window
feeling morose
listening to j cole
wondering if the gaping hole 
in my chest would ever be filled
if my restless heart, 
would ever be still 
and I remember that gleaming barbed wire
the chalk blue sky
a sun so high
that sunday at high point
I was so low
and you know
I was so relieved that I forgot it
that I had to wait
alone in that room
where the security cameras surrounded
alone with my thoughts 
and that single letter
maybe I'm dead inside yo
maybe I just don't want you to know
or see me like this
lost and at risk
at risk of losing it all 
everything 
with your words
------ so cold
shit remember high point
that bust-up bus that afternoon
my head resting against the glass
stomach growling well attuned
to those lyrics, and my heart
remember high point
after that i promised I'd start
again, to be more grateful 
to be less wasteful
of time, and more forgiving
don't know why
it's like im living
a half life
i'm half like
not here- always
wondering where
to go next
----------------------to be free
shit//// TO BE FREEEE