highpoint

remember high point

the ghost bus from elephant

through the biblical landscapes
fields punctuated with trees
older than time

to freeze
a moment  of pure sublime
nah it weren't an escape 

but it came close,
gazing out the window
feeling morose

listening to j cole

wondering if the gaping hole 

in my chest would ever be filled

if my restless heart, 

would ever be still 

and I remember that gleaming barbed wire

the chalk blue sky
a sun so high

that sunday at high point

I was so low
and you know

I was so relieved that I forgot it

that I had to wait

alone in that room

where the security cameras surrounded

alone with my thoughts 

and that single letter

maybe I'm dead inside yo

maybe I just don't want you to know

or see me like this

lost and at risk

at risk of losing it all 

everything 

with your words
------ so cold
shit remember high point

that bust-up bus that afternoon

my head resting against the glass

stomach growling well attuned

to those lyrics, and my heart

remember high point

after that i promised I'd start

again, to be more grateful 

to be less wasteful

of time, and more forgiving

don't know why

it's like im living

a half life

i'm half like

not here- always

wondering where

to go next

----------------------to be free
shit//// TO BE FREEEE