Tuesday, 27 August 2013

course of my history

How can you talk about the stuff
you yourself can't even begin to make sense of
-there's way way way way too much
so I made a mind map
and I realised this mind
its full of magical beautiful crap
this mind, this year, I swear
it's been, something else, 
the crowds, the cut ties
the ten thousand goodbyes
I ran away
twice they followed
a hundred times,  I swallowed 
my own words

many times/ times many/ many times
captured nothingness
in ten thousand rhymes
/it's my fault/
everything and it's wonderful
and shit, but now, how
do I make a hundred wrong things right
how do I go back in time
and just change the course of my history
-life/ forever it eludes me-

Monday, 26 August 2013

waiting for you

'I really love you
you're the best'
girl I really love you too
and I can't wait to live out the rest
of our beautiful story
it's far from over and I can't wait
to see you and your beautiful smile again
girl, you're such a gem
you're truly a gem

Sunday, 25 August 2013

not so broken umbrella

the rain 
the river wandle
it almost flowed
wholly horizontal
the sound of jazz
the lonely path
the green green green
the puddle that almost seemed
like a /mirage/
the pink flowers touching the water
shrouded in fog
life, it grows ever-shorter
for the two umbrella's, not so broken
broken urdu: the words that went unspoken
kya kehna chahti ho?
...remember that time it started to pour...
remember that old storm
I was with you then
 you were feeling so forlorn
and then another came along
and she was feeling the same
but now all that remains
is the smell/ from the bread factory
-kind of trippy-
/all these discarded memories/

Saturday, 24 August 2013

pure poetics

purely poetical 
for it would be unethical
to post; a hundred drafts
at most; I think I should start
/to un-reveal; this life/
/to heal; what's inside/
-to just be again-

smiles, that heal

perhaps a fleeting depression
a heaviness that constricts
brought about by this
state of being; inert in pain
a pain that brings about
a fleeting depression
I wish it would lessen
the /hurt/
the thing I'm feeling
the thing that's stealing
the parts that make me; me
but it did, then
it did when
I saw all your
smiling faces
and when I saw you 
old soul from the past
-pure beauty, in a mask-
I was overcome
by love
love love love
it's a healing
love love love 
it's what I'm feeling
for each and everyone of you
(especially you old soul) and I
wish I could preserve it forever
take it out and wear it whenever
I feel /hurt/
-I have so much love for you-

my generation

this generation
the friends that I got
I got a lot and they got a lot
and we got a lot
/of troubles/
and we're all tryna battle out
these neverending struggles
and I struggle to see
how we can ever be
some place other than here
at times I think it's only me
and I feel so alone, but I swear
we're all tryna to run away
from ourselves, I wonder,
why do we put ourselves
through such hell; 
/riding this same old carousel/ 
round and round and round
and of course we're bound
to get so tired if it, of this life
-yeah, we're barely getting by-
but still we try 
still we try still we try still we try
(to make the best)

Thursday, 22 August 2013

end of earth

lying still on my side/ staring
at a patch
of transient gold
 etched on the wall 
I close my eyes and free fall
I free fall
I silently call
on You Lord
and the wall
and the gold
-become nothingness-

lying still on my side,
listening to Karen O
-another sick day-
and so
 I (Hideaway)
well they'll seat us in the sun
....when will I become
someone else?

perhaps its the aftermath of
the latest series of goodbyes
the latest series of cut ties
and I wonder

if I never go back 
would it be so bad
and I wonder
exacly what is it
that makes me feel so sad

maybe I could don a new disguise
start fresh again
start a new life
I'd like to start again
I missed the summer
I don't want to miss the autumn too
I'd like to walk to
-the end of earth-

goofballs: that evening in Souf

our TV show
it would be more than funny
if only we had the money
to make it
we could take it
all the way
and man, I hadn't laughed like that
in a hundred thousand years
two guys
 two girls
all of us belonging 
to very separate worlds
yet we came together
and laughed like I hadn't 
in a hundred thousand years
and if every moment of this fleeting life
could be filled with this laughter
/after/ ------
all the sorrow and sadness
then wouldn't it be heaven
this short human existence
instead of being there
/a place of distance/
we could be here 
for in that grey grey place
I feel parts of me being erased
I feel space/ folding in on itself
instead can we not/ humankind- fam
just live in laughter

-to be a niazi

a bit of advice
for once in your life
listen to me
stay away from all niazi's
no joke
we're proper mental
we live lives on rental
and yeah it's just like in the movies
if only you could sit back and see
what goes on/ in separation
(guilty by association)
to be a niazi
you gotta be pretty tough
 you gotta pretty glassy
(as in see-through, but not really)
nah, it ain't something you would get
seriously, I hope you never set
you're sight towards a niazi
cos it ain't that hard to see
we be
-truly out of this world-

Tuesday, 20 August 2013


jumping up and down
on a trampoline
your twin; 
she tried to intervene
but I just carried on jumping
jumping jumping jumping
waiting for something 
to jump out at me
twins, I know three 
pairs: ones of twos 
and they're so cool
both parts, both people
jumping on the trampoline
she looked almost feeble
(from above/ one of two)

like a hole in the head(scarf)

thanks for telling me
that my head was on fire
oh wait, you didn't 
well... no worries, it was minor
it's not like it was designer
that headscarf with that burnt hole
it was actually pretty trampy, pretty old 
but it was her favourite
I planned to tell her/ later on that night
that it musta some how/ caught alight
-but how was I to explain it to her?-
 that I was at chapel bank 
placing wooden corpses in a bonfire
for sure she would call me a liar
so I said/ nothing/
now it makes me laugh
-like a hole in the head(scarf)-
listen girl, on behalf 
of those trees, I'd like to say sorry
(for the destruction of property)

anna rose

anna rose
you emailed me
you said 'I often think about you'
to be honest I didn't really know who
you were then, yeah I drew a complete blank
but now that I do remember, I'd like to thank
you for remembering me
and thinking of me often
-connections/ for the living-

Sunday, 18 August 2013

passing moments

to rush
(a never-ending) hour /
                                            to (dis) /empower
time    blurs
                       it-can-be-a           curse
or a blessing
                        it's sort of                    messing 

with my head

A Silver Bird

I heard about this girl,
a proper G
a day in her life, man it would be
pretty hard, more than a little heavy
in her hometown of 
brighton, it weren't so bright then,
back in the day
but even back then
she'd managed to find a way 
to keep it interesting

-and well, rumour has it,
she's finally back!-

I heard she be tearing
through the hood, just yesterday
she had some kind of epiphany
and decided to come back
to live life a little differently

this is how she spent it
...that day...
early morning/ she met up with her old mate
Abu Rajal
dis safe guy from Senegal
they blazed up
and when she'd had enough
of his deep empty philosophical talk
she walked, yeah she walked

she went to shoot hoops with da boys
shocked when dey saw her
 they made such a noise
she couldn't hack it
the attention, the questions,
in less than
ten minutes
she escaped, she made
for da cottage and got some chicken wings
before going back to dat old block
she knocked and knocked and knocked
but no answer

so she left again, sat by da raging sea
there she waited and waited
-for a sign/ to be free-

when the sun had finally set
and the night had arrived
she headed up to Wah Kiki's
for one last dance/
it took just one stray glance,
and she was gone, she left again
and this time she went-

in the obscure night/ to get her old boat
she got in,
pressed her palm against her throat
 and started paddling
to the derelict pier
and when she got there
she climbed up the bars
and sat there at the top
 looking at them shining stars
after some time
she started spittin' bars
she spit da sickest lines
you ever heard

and so the galaxies opened up
and revealed their secrets to her and
she metamorphosed into
a silver bird

-you'll see the bird
circle the Brighton sky
no lie,
she be that beautiful bird
she didn't really die-

school of insanium

nah I ain't Iranian
but I am
 made of uranium
but I did graduate
from the school of insanium
yeah and I might just blow
I might just go
out of my mind

life in a bubble

to live life in a bubble 
to be unaware of all the trouble
that exists outside of it
-the world in which you (re)side-
the world of which you tried/
to renounce
nah I don't watch TV
yeah I admit to a degree
I like to remain disconnected
the reason why I come across
as so disaffected
is cos I am
it's not that I don't care
it's just I can't right now
and no, you won't be able to find me
cos I'm not on facebook
and nah, wrong again, I never look
inside the metro
because I already know
what's in it
and bro, I heard you're in Cairo
I heard you was on da BBC
but I don't watch that, you see
so I didn't know
-whatchya doin' in Cairo bro?-


you owe it to me 
to share a single line
that will define
what life means to you

Saturday, 17 August 2013

the (not so) special part

                                     so completely un-                           (well) 
and so             (a) lone                 there
in Fawanees 
talking about the special part of eid
when it weren't special 
it was depressing as hell  
                                    man, I ain't           -well- 
man, I'm so tired
and these early mornings
aren't paying off /yet/


so bitter-sweet
why is it
that I always come to meet
with destiny
when destiny is slipping away
I've got to find a way
of being in this world
because there's no where else
to be, 
(except maybe Dudley)

Friday, 16 August 2013

black thing

was it a raven
or a crow
I don't quite know


these fleeting 
make me feel almost grown up
for in pain, I still remain, 
I still come across as sane
and that's saying 
Lord, help me to understand my worth
for I know I can be great
I just need this weight
lifted off my shoulders, 
I feel so so sosososososososososososo much older
than I am
so tired of being good to others
and so bad to my own self
...I still don't feel so well...

in my dreams

-burnt out
I learnt how
not to care
seriously am I back here
again? I'm still tryna fend 
off the demons, I once called friends
I'm still trying to send
your way

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

effed up year

effed up year 
nah I'm nowhere near
where I thought I'd be 
though I'm right here
but man 
I'm tired of being
stuck in
the past 
greyhound dog day
I'm unable to grasp
the thing I need to do
in order to move
on and away
I'm unable to find
the right words to say
the right thing
that might bring 
me some kind of peace
some kind of relief 
from this otherworldly malaise
-to be/ so full of grace-

empty signs

life man
it gets me every time
every time I'm getting somewhere
it just gets me nowhere, and the signs 
they drive me crazy 
in ways that he 
will never understand, 
that's why I don't make no plans
they just lead me down another dead end
they just drive me round the bend
-she was so right-

Sunday, 11 August 2013

little girl

half asleep
little girl you said you loved me
little girl you said you rushed to see
if I had arrived
(I'm a million miles away still
against my will; it amounted to nil)
little girl you said I'd forgotten you
little girl if only you knew
-how little I've forgotten-
little girl I regret
that you've yet to let
me dissappear, and fade from your
little memory
when will she/ forget
that I exist in the world
little girl I love you too, forever
-of course I do-
I miss you
-I miss my life/  which life-
I'm not so sure any more

(thought) train

..............do dooo do ba baaaa ba...................
why am I feeling so completely blah?
...........I should have taken the car
but then I'd have to find parking................
...........that's it, when I get in I'm marking 
all my cups and plates, I hate
using others, I feel so smothered!
................why she's covered? poor girl, I discovered
the secret to the universe
now I need to unearth
-the treasure-/ what a pleasure,
to be announced winner..................
I wonder what marlene's cooking for dinner
....................ugh could she be any thinner
I hate work, I hate work, I hate work
lady I'ma go berserk
if you don't back off
for goddsake why don't people wash!?
who does she think she is, that posh
cow, wow..... I really hate silence
why's my nan so violent.................
I hope she won't beat me up when I get home
I'll call him, I don't wanta be alone
.................gosh she was completely thrown
when I told her, she missed her train....
I wonder is he single, I must refrain
from looking at him... I must look down at my shoes
you call this news! metro crap
aaaahh shoot, I forgot to print off a map....
...I wander what she's thinking,
......all just caught in one massive trap.........
time for a nap, time for a nap, time for a nap

a dream

man, I dunno
I feel like I been 
living in a dream
my whole entire life


this dream/
                                               I can't seem to shake

this dream/
            I can't seem to make


sense of

a bit of sixteen

I was going through 
a 'range of strange pain'
and man it was proper insane
my journal at sixteen
I can't believe it was really me
who wrote it 
'my most prized possession forever'
I took it wherever
I went and stored in it
dreams, ideas, lyrics
cut outs and pictures and tickets
sixteen, man what a trippy dream
shovel man, pink hair, 
stolen rock on Brighton pier
J Littlewood, Greta Garbo
Ed Fargo, Edvard Munch
a whole bunch 
of other crazy stuff
like random korean drama's 
man karma's
a glitch, Carmen and I
we hit, the karaoke place
with those Japanese bleach heads
of doing normal
-yeah, folks always said we was 
more than a little abnormal-
cos we wanted to go lahore
remember T, 
you and I: and that cube of ice: 
methanol in glass/ missing science class
man, sixteen was kind of a blast
in parts, 
bruk up TV's
exploring bruk up parts of the city
walking walking walking
in da park after dark
-ten thousand pages in that journal-
...it was a journey more external...
 -than internal-

laughs by the lake

sitting by the lake
with you, 
a comedian
girl, you could be 
a comedian
or an adventure novelist
a story teller
or a computer scientist
girl, you could be 
but a comedian
you already are
no one makes me laugh
quite like you, you're already a star
maybe I should also read 
sitting by the lake
watching characters pass by
listening to each other try
to make sense
you could be a comedian
you could be a comedian
you already are
-a star-

perfect evening

magical evenings
kind of the ones I live for
spontaneous encounters, 
with the kind of folk I truly adore
and if I never saw
it, we wouldn't have made it
mate it, 
was so much more than beautiful
and of course, it makes sense
you're part of this soul- it's true
in a few shared hours,
my love for you grew
ten fold, because
you understand what it means

-to live-

to give
to lose it 

 the hourglass was turned over
and we never wasted a minute
(I never wasted a minute)
-all those encounters-
with all those souls
with planes to catch 
to Brooklyn, to Busan, to Berlin
sterling/ friendships, 
stirring/ emotions
that never go away

like that winter sunset, from above,
with the frizzy haired anarchist
-it's kind of a strange bliss- 
talking about all sorts of crazy stuff
all sorts of philosophy
epiphanies, that useless wasp
life, finding it, spirituality and
every beautiful crazy wonderful 
thing in the world

a spontaneous encounter
we met at st pauls 
and crossed the bridge 
and settled on the secret steps
by the shore
legs stretched, backs against the wall
looking at the water, 
trying to remember how to be whole

-and we were here, this very same place
 just a few days ago-
(changes, nothing stays the same/ the river it flows)
and finally it goes (into the sea/ and one day we'll see...)
-everything makes sense-

and so we shared
strawberries and monster munch
and skips and chewitts 
and we spoke about everything 
I ever wanted to speak about
I felt like I was talking to myself
you were me, you were me
I never wanted to part
and I wanted us to never leave
-there/ those secret steps-

the sunset by the shore
speaking and laughing and connecting
I adore
life, when it's like this
hours and hours
pass us by

here for a brief while, can it turn into eternity
for certainly, 
I'm so tired of sharing brief beautiful moments
with brief beautiful souls
-you're going back-

I'm right behind you, 
just give me a while still
to find it

the colours of the sky
pink and blue and yellow
-the breeze/ the buskers/ the music-
the man weight lifting with a big rock
while his dog 
watches on, 

the lights that came to life
and so we walked down
by the shore

we wandered in by the waves, the sky darkening
a million and one colours reflected
we sung like maniacs
who'd known each other since birth

every now and then I get a little bit lonely
and you're never coming round
~ every now and then ~
(let's start, again in Rome)

(impending departure, let it not be)

and in an other time
-why did we never spend time
in another time, when we had the time-
timing, timing, timing
it's always wrong
so let's just continue singing
this sad and beautiful song

and even though we just met 
after so many years
I don't want to say goodbye

girl, I told you my plan
I told you one month
to get it back, or risk losing out on eternity
you said I was speaking
everything that was inside you
God brought us to each other
He brought us here
when we were both losing touch
I swear
I needed you to tell 
me something
I needed to tell you something

-and so we shared-

artist friends
I love having artist friends
who inspire
who instil within me the desire
to look and look and look again

but now I don't want to say goodbye
first on the list
a deep sad sigh escapes my lips
still, I'm glad I never missed
-this opportunity-

fossil toad

fossilised toad
found under an apple tree
an apple crushed you
 made it hard for you to breathe
-you died-
and now the flies
 enjoy your corpse
fossilised toad
you were the victim of a heavy load
a sick apple
-be tranquil-
/in death/

Thursday, 8 August 2013


building stuff up

for the past eight years
each and every screw up

each and every time I get near

I end up further away 

and I swear

I gotta come to terms with it
everything I been through 
everything I come through
                        everything I thought I knew  

    /to be true/

I gotta come to terms with it: 
(a thing called loss)

I have to cross
I have to cross
I have to cross
the bridge

for I was
(not entirely absent)


yeah, time to get real, 
time to really figure out 
how to deal
how to prosper, 
see somewhere along the line 
I lost the
plot, and now I gotta get it back


ramshackle plane

you'll need a plane to get there 
that remote village in Uzbekistan
you need to bring your own chair
they'll chain it up and everyone
will be happy and laughing
they'll share sweet delights
and there'll be chickens on the plane
it will be a flight
like no other
a big plane, a russian plane 
from the past, from the seventies 
and on it there will be creatures
and jars of ancient remedies
and vegetables and other random things
like strange eletronics and a santa doll that sings
and when the plane speeds up
the chairs will go back 
and you'll pray to not die
there's a plane that exists out there like this
no lie, no lie
and there's another too, in the far north
and the curtains in the room
they call an airport, brown like from the history books
and another place called Djibouti
-a plane- a world of its own
a man with a shield and an axe
it went flying, he was prone
to such outbursts
-funny world-/ ramshackle planes
(stranger than fiction)
stranger than strange

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

keep in touch yeah, bruv

in five years time
where will we be
perhaps we'll find ourselves
building sandcastles at lido beach
kicking back in the outback 
hmm five years from now
maybe we'll still we be right here
yeah at some random station at night
still bare tight
wolfing down chicken wings
and chatting about all sorts of tings
like jokes, like life
like ma perfect husband, like your beautiful wife
perhaps we'll just be here
yeah, just dossing about
after prayers in the mosque
both still pretty lost,
both still wondering where we'll be 
in five years time,
ah just being here, man it's a pretty fine 
way to waste the days, 
and bruv, I have to say 
this morning I woke up and it was so grey
outside and I was feeling so lost
I was thinking I need to get out at any cost
I was thinking I need to leave this place
but then she took me in
she told me about kindness
(these screens blind us)
from each other
and we boarded so many buses
but walking through the summers park
all that was within me, turning my insides dark
kind of just evaporated
and I was me again
so we asked ten thousand strangers for change
and it changed something inside me
all this charity- man, I have to say 
I really don't want you to go 
and if you do man, I really want you to know
I've got your back, 
hahaha, it was pretty whack 
there, then, now
you talking to me in urdu 
and me talking to you in Somali
could we somehow end up chilling out in Bali
some volcanic island, ahh geology boy
you know you're an absolute joy
to be around
-you best keep in touch yeah-

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

ramadan tent

da ramadan tent
bruv i musta spent
more time there
than I spent anywhere
dis ramadan
bruv dat feeling of calm
when da call to prayer
(I fink they call it da adhaan)
sounded, bruv it left
me more then confounded
i was wholly astounded 
by it all 
da coming together of different folk
no joke it was actually kind of beautiful, 
seeing them same volunteers daily
always so nice and so dutiful
yeah bruv, I was new to it all 
to dat kind of kindness, 
to dem kind of kind people 
-dey left me feelin, kinda peaceful-
yeah you know dey 
took it up and brought it down everyday
dat tent, it was kind of a blessed place to stay
to just be
not a bum, or some dumb 
homeless guy
rather I could just be me
yeah bruv dat tent
i swear it meant 
more to people like us 
than you could ever know 
and so and so and so
we wait yeah, till next year
when we got somewhere
to go again, to eat
to waste time 
and listen to dat sublime
call to prayer
dat adhaan
-yeah da sound of calm-

the curse

the curse of srdf
no sooner you came
you left

you said, we wouldn't

girl you said 
we'd keep in touch
with such
I almost believed you
now here we are
drifting apart
and I'm left
 wishing we could start
(from scratch)

two rivers in one day

two rivers in one day
six white butterflies
in the wind I watched them sway
from side to side 
up and down by the giant weed-trees 
beside the ugly coloured grafetti,
 over the plump blackberries
passing by the purple flowers
hovering over the bumble bees
the river brent, i went to vent
but instead nature healed
and if i weren't fasting I'd have peeled
the berries off and ate them 
instead I carried on, rambling
past a hundred beer cans
a thousand cigarette butts, 
bits of scrap metal, poo flies and a rat
a fat rat, 
allow that blad 
(so I returned to the brick and mortar shell)
(the corporate shiny hell)
and then some hours later
 we inspected the limestone at St Pauls
and crossed the silver bridge
and when we got there
the sun came out and it was beautiful 
so we sat on the stone, by the river beach 
watching the water and sometimes we'd speak
two rivers in one day
and now you've gone away
and now I don't know what to say
except I'ma miss you
-rivers, flow-


dead shark on a train
cigarette stuck between razor blade
teeth, multiple scars across his face
beside him, half a can of redbull
man, that shark was so full 
of himself
his fish friends said
we always knew he'd end up dead
on some beat up train
sharkie's only got himself to blame
lest he got what he wanted
-pomp and fame-

Monday, 5 August 2013

tooting girls

so good to see you tooting girls
after so long
i forgot how much fun we have
you know, you girls belong 
in tooting/ -tooting girls-
you can take the girl out of tooting
but you can't take tooting out of the girl
i'm routing
for your return


my name 
it means traveller 
I travel through 
and different times
and ever so slowly
they materialise
the signs
the secrets
a deep thirst
for God's love and grace
-will I always feel this displaced-
will I always remain a waste?
or will I one day find the courage
to face
my demons
and rise up
a deep thirst /quenched


if only I knew her
before, fatuma
she always manages to restore
my faith in people
with her understanding
I don't know anyone
more upstanding
more intelligent
more relevant
than you
you've got bags of talent
you're such a balanced
god bless
if only I knew her
she could have taught me so much more
than my teachers
with her kindness
her ability to create, write, to make
people happy
with her bright bright brightness
for her acceptance of folk
however flawed/ however doped
thank you fatuma
-for just being you-

Sunday, 4 August 2013

fresh pair of eyes

yeah that's me
pretty fickle
pretty inconsistent
more than a little persistent
yeah that's me
not that bothered if we
part ways 
as long as I find a way to stay, 
connected to my God
(I wish)


remember when
we bunked off school 
and went to stonehenge
you and I
riggy we were so high
on life back then
remember when
we made friends with that priest
at salisbury cathedral, 
his name was rex
remember when we got 
proper vex
after, when we couldn't find the right bus
we was just a couple crazy kids
back then we'd kick up a fuss
over any little thing
riggy you and i
what happened to that spirit,
we once possessed
 how come it died?
how come we never tried
to get it back

where i could be

where I could be
hanging out at sydney harbour
writing a new book, being alone
forming colourful memories
inside a strangers home 
taking pictures, praying to the Everlasting
this is where I could be, so I keep asking
myself, what's keeping me here?
-what's keeping me here-

rest easier

yeah i gotta get this off my chest
so that I can rest, 
I confess, I was not so pleased to see her
in my dream
yeah in my dream 
she made me green
with envy
but the funny thing is 
she couldn't even begin to see
just how special she was, 
for she was, so special
she was truly out of this world

a tree and kfc

we travelled to the woods
you watched as I climbed up a tree
the sun went down 
i wandered where the night would lead
of course we ended up having KFC
yeah we sat on a bench outside at twilight 
opened our fasts with a burger and some fries
I know how much you despise fries
nutrition girl, but you took me there
cos you're the best and cos well
you're my best friend in the whole world
and you'd do anything to make me happy 
and I'd do the same, it's true,
and when you told me that you knew
girl I believed you, love- keep me in your sight
cos these days nothing feels right
these day's I feel proper like

science museum

funnier than the funniest
joke, I broke
my own record
for funny,
so how-come-she
didn't laugh
i know she thinks 
i'm proper daft
and I am and I don't really know
whether it's for novelty or show
or just cos I got nowhere else to go
yeah I applied for a couple jobs
at the science museum
and I was thinking
it would be pretty funny 
if I went back to south ken
maybe I could try again 
some place the same
but different
-man, I got issues-

sy, try: harder

the secret life of sy
sometimes I try 
so hard to be anonymous 
but anonymity, isn't synonymous
with the inability
to face who you really are,
I left my mind ajar
and my thoughts we so loud 
I couldn't hear my mouth 
-I'm still living on a distant cloud-
now I don't care about anonymous
no more, from the surface to the core
I am sy and I...
want to possess grace
I'm so amazed. I'm more than fazed;
that you found me 
-but now what?-


did you hear about the python
that fell into a hole
in a pet shop, 
that python was on parole
but he didn't want to fall into a hole
(it just happened)
he landed on the floor, 
he hadn't a chance to regroup
he just clung to them
onto the necks of two small human people
two boys, strangling
and quietly it slipped away, 
-the future and they died-
the two young brothers, sons
of the pet shop owners best mate, 
life can take
-everything away-
in the mere blink of an eye
-rest in peace-

Saturday, 3 August 2013

here and now

still no closer to where I want to be
still I remain afflicted 
by this otherworldly disease
still so far from being at ease
so I should just leave
right? I should just go to Australia 
like I planned to 
before I randomly landed this new
ahhh my heart and head throb
with all this change
with all this spinning/
I'm still thinking of binning
it, -everything I worked for-
and yet I continue to pour 
out all all my mixed up thoughts
and so I told Sussex, I'm not coming
to write, to wander, 
to accrue sucess, and another blunder
yeah now, I can't afford to do either
but still I need a breather
still I need to leave

everlasting/ ramadan

ramadan I missed you
I was missing throughout 
ramadan, I kind of just went about
my empty empty business
ramadan, you came and left
and you left me here, completely bereft
of any goodness, 
despite the charity, I acquired no clarity
ramadan you passed me by
and I did try, to feel something
I did, but I didn't, feel anything
ramadan, I had so much riding on you
I know it's my fault, I blew
thirty chances, I wasted time
-if I had a dime, for every wasted chance-
I'd be rich, ramadan, I didn't stitch 
up a single wound
I just wasted time
feeling sorry for myself 
seeking solace in my pain
so out of this world still
I have nothing left to gain
-fasting, everlasting- 
trials, that won't go away
-what now, what now, what now-


quit tryna to get me 
and just let me live man, 
I got a lot to give, I can 
show you my world 
as long as you don't 
try to change mine
as long as you don't
try to change me in time
yeah don't try to change me 
cos I kind of like to be
-a strange(r)-


the embassy
in the end you'll see
it was worth it