Friday, 30 November 2012

Lahore, I miss you.

 I miss you.
I miss your colour
I miss your magic
I miss your people 
I miss your dusty streets
and I miss your stifling heat
I miss your warmth.

I miss your kingdom
I miss your children 
I miss their smiles and their wiles
Lahore I miss walking for miles
to Shalimar Gardens
through a labyrinth of markets 
that harden 

Where I am now
Where I've been
Will I ever understand
what it all means?

I miss the creatures that roam
I miss home.
I wonder, 
is it possible to feel homesick
towards a land so derelict
so ill-equipped
for a dreamer
like me? 
If only I could make you see-

Lahore, I miss your heart
But is it really possible for me to start
a new life in your land
and yet remain how I am
how I think 
and how I live? 
How can I give 

Lahore I want a piece of you
I want to buy a piece of you 
and create a magical place
a sacred space
a school filled with joy and learning
Lahore, I will never stop yearning 
for you
for this dream. 

I'd create a nature reserve 
where I'd serve 
up natural ideas and 
spiritual delights
and I'd share with friends,
such beautiful sights.

Lahore I miss you, I do. 
Lahore, I have so many plans
I can't tell you
But you know they always fall 

Time is ticking Lahore
What does the future have in store
for me?

I'm scared 
I'll get distracted and forget
the promises I made to the children I met
by the banks of the river Ravi.

Should I really go away
to do an MA 
in Creative Writing
or should I keep fighting 
to make this dream a reality(?)...

Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger,
you may find this hard to take
but I find it hard to relate
to you and to the rest of humankind.
Sometimes I have to remind
myself that we were both created out of one Mind
a Mind that we will never understand.
We were both formed from the same Hand.
I'm sorry Stranger, that I can't break through
your exterior and find the interior
the thing that binds
us, humankind
together as one.  

Chance Encounter

Ny, you walked right by
me today at the station-
I tugged you,
you turned around
and I hugged you.
We talked
but I never got the chance
to say sorry-
I'm sorry that I missed your wedding
it was doing my head in
thinking about how to break it to you.
There's no reason good enough,
There's no excuse.
My dear, 
you know this year
I've missed quite a few
and the guilt I have accrued
has been great
but to tell you the truth
I don't like weddings
they make me feel strange
and out of place. 
I never know what to wear
or what to say or what to do
I just hang about awkwardly
and wait till it's through
I just wait for the
Muslim equivalent of 'I do'
before zipping on out of there
this much is true.
But I'm sorry still
I should have gone against my will
and cancelled those 'important plans' 
I had made
and instead been there for you 
on your big day.
I didn't realise how much I missed you
and your blue eyes
until I saw you today
after nearly a year (and a half)
I hope you're happy dear
I really do
and I hope life works out for you
through and through.
With love


Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un
Truly, to God we belong and truly, 
to Him we shall return.
So stand firm, daughter of Adam.
I repeated these words in my mind,
no others words I could find
that would offer me a sense of peace
as I walked away
one last time.

This Old Reverie

Are you there now by any chance?
I glanced inside this old reverie
Because if you are
I'm not that far away
What do you say?

I mean I could easily drop by
just to say hi
...if you like.
And should you ask me to stay
for part of the day,
or for a cup of tea maybe?
Maybe I would...stay

Seeds to Grow

She lives life
as through she's already dead,
And often I find myself
wondering what led
to her to being there.
What fear?
What strife
had rendered life
too much for her to bare?
Such despair!
What was it in her fate
that had led her to this state
that made her lose all hope
and forever mope
And why, I tried
to understand, can't she just let go?
Why can't she just sow
new seeds, the seeds she needs
to grow?  

Hey Kid

If only one person would say
hey kid, you've made the right decision
you had a vision
and you went after it.
So what, if you didn't hit
the mark.
You tried, and that's good enough...

Life on Repeat

Ever feel
like you're living
the same day
over and over again?
will these wounds heal?
will I feel
whole again?
Or am I cursed
with the worse
kind of memories
the kind that won't
fade away?
Will I one day
go insane
like those kids
on roaccutane?

Christmas Parties

I must confess
I hate Christmas parties
and I avoid them like the plague
vaguely I remember one
and it was not fun.
See I'm not about that life
drinking, fornicating and with a knife
stabbing at a vital part of myself-
the soul cries, the heart slowly dies;
wise are those who give them a miss
for it is they who minimize the risk
of rendering themselves fools- 
rule yourself: mind, body and soul. 
I saw it once, written on a toilet wall:
'Slaves of earthly desire
are we destined for the fire?'

Man Versus Machine

Man, I'm just so damn tired
of forever being wired
to this godforsaken wireless world
of unreality.
Here I await a fatality
Here I await my finality
Here, in this banality
I live, in this maddening
wireless world

In this wireless world
to connect is to forget
what living means
as a human being
screams all around,
so much noise, but no sound
no real sound, can be found
in this unreality

And in the absence of the sacred
you can make it by remaining aloof,
let loose, unplug,
to remove yourself from the system
and to find your own wisdom
from above or within
is to win, in this war
between man and machine
to be free, to see

Fight for it,
a life outside this crazed
wireless world of unreality...

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Two Friends

I once knew
two Muslim men
back when
I worked in Clapham
and it just so happened
that one was from Bosnia
and the other was from
Sierra Leonne
and both were known
to be best of friends.

They would play tennis together
whatever the weather
and they asked me often
to come and watch them
I never did

But these two friends
would often lend
me the best of advice,
they sure were wise
and they had much in common
as children
neither had learned to pray
but now, both would often say

Time went by
and soon they went their
separate ways
it fazed, me.
The way paths often collide
but only for a while
we all part ways
eventually and always.
And no one stays-