Friday 19 April 2013

mediate- to sedate

with not a minute to meditate; 
with not a moment to sedate
this restless heart, this racing mind
with not a second to find: 
words (words that mean stuff)
like I don't know-
I miss you golden boy 
and your lafungi brother too
like I don't know-
this mind, its paper mache
and I guess I haven't got much to say
yes my mind is mush
but as such I'd just like to say 
what's on my mind
what's on my paper mache mind-
let me tell you a secret
since the age of fifteen
I've be living in this strange dream
I've been struggling with this thing
-disassociation- 
it's why I can so openly write
with no qualms: 
let me tell you about it-
before leaving, this evening
I found myself in a basement 
an underground basement 
with some salafi sisters 
belonging to a place 
I can never go back to
and I watched 
the otherworldly mufti 
on the screen, 
I wanted to feel something 
so much i wanted to be affected 
but I wasn't.... so I left
I went back upstairs, 
and in the evening light 
I sat on my silly swivel chair
and I swivelled round and round 
round, till I was very dizzy
-it was trippy-
yeah it was trippy 
but then I left...
always leaving