Sunday, 2 December 2012

A Dark Place

As I heard the saxophone 
sound and diffuse
 in the crowded
I felt a presence cut the cord
I felt myself drift towards
a dark dark place
without a trace
 will I disappear? 
without a fear 
 will I leave 
this world?

Soon the people 
and head-first
I dive into the abyss
and everything I ever feared
is adhered to. 

Still I suffer in silence
still this spiritual violence
overcomes me 
over and over 
again and again
torn apart-
scars grace this heart
craters and valleys
fault-lines and dark
cold alleys 

This malaise 
transports me to a frightening place
and brings back memories
of nightmares and fears 
once forgotten. 

Memento Mori
The angel of death whispers to me
quietly in my ear 
and instils within me
a panic, a rising fear
I swear, I'll change 
I'll rearrange my life again
I just need time. 

This malaise
raises questions 
about my spiritual state
I hate 
these pains 
these hidden aches
I fake 
being okay
so I can stay
for the stakes are too high
for everything to go awry 
once more

To lose focus on living
and to give in
to the pain
again and again
drives me insane
and I sink 
deeper and deeper
I teeter on the edge
as I think 
dark thoughts 
in dark places....