A Dark Place

As I heard the saxophone 

sound and diffuse

 in the crowded
underground

I felt a presence cut the cord

I felt myself drift towards

a dark dark place

without a trace

 will I disappear? 

without a fear 

 will I leave 

this world?

Soon the people 

disperse

and head-first

I dive into the abyss

and everything I ever feared

is adhered to. 

Still I suffer in silence

still this spiritual violence

overcomes me 

over and over 

again and again

torn apart-
scars grace this heart
craters and valleys
fault-lines and dark
cold alleys 

This malaise 

transports me to a frightening place

and brings back memories

of nightmares and fears 

once forgotten. 

Memento Mori

The angel of death whispers to me

quietly in my ear 

and instils within me

a panic, a rising fear

I swear, I'll change 

I'll rearrange my life again

I just need time. 

This malaise

raises questions 

about my spiritual state

I hate 

these pains 

these hidden aches

I fake 

being okay

so I can stay

awake 

for the stakes are too high

for everything to go awry 

once more

To lose focus on living

and to give in

to the pain

again and again

drives me insane

and I sink 

deeper and deeper
I teeter on the edge
as I think 

dark thoughts 

in dark places....