Tolkien's Ring

He said

opposites attract

she replied

don't detract

from the situation at hand,
look just be a man

and tell Tolkien
you have the ring
she said
look you've got what it takes
to bring
about salvation
for humankind
(but you can't do it alone)
and no,
opposites don't attract
they just detract
from the situation at hand

girl, what?

a mystery

I wish that she

had just said

what she wanted to say

I wish she had just been brave

for now we've come too far to save 

-it-/ what we had

another missed connection

hmm who did I see
in the world on this day

-you-
getting off the lift at russell square

you looked
rather disgruntled, sort of weird

sort of  a bit baffled
wholly out of this world 

-as ever, you never-

saw me 

holy night

wandering after then 

after the solitude set in

on that green 

outside the tent

listening to them laugh 

human people, I went

so far and so far
I walked away 

after saying goodbye

I was lost, in the night

in the holy night

I walked and walked
through the empty streets
under the glare of the neon lights,
thinking to myself I can't keep

walking, but I found somewhere

but life does wear

upon this soul

it will take a long time 

for these walls to be absent 

to be at one
with anything

perfect exit

Her perfect exit, she left it
-everything-

and she told him to carry on
where she left off

and what about my perfect exit

it never happens.

another goodbye

It's my last day too,

Sy, you said before we left

 and I turned around and said 

I'll see you in Mogadishu

and I meant it

thanks love

you called me from the airport 

before boarding your flight

but the line got cut 

so now, let me say it right

before life, 

makes me forget

-thank you, I love you- 

and see you again one autumns day

monday's are hard

dreading the coming monday

more so knowing you won't be there

feeling sort of empty
 kind of can't believe you left me here
(alone)

weirdness sustained

my life man

-a weirdness sustained-

its beyond crazy

yeah I was on geo again

I was just as hazy

and wacked out

as the first time

in lahore

and I just nap anywhere

like I did before, 

like I used to in a rickshaw

or wherever sleep comes

on the grass

the train

some random common room

man, I'm off my game

-proper-

Gone, gone, gone

what to do, now you're gone

what to do, now I got no one

to keep me company

so here I am

up against this weathered beat-up tree

writing weathered beat-up poetry

so here I am by the motorway

writing and it feels like just yesterday

you were here next to me

-so what next?-

flies

dropping like flies

friendships, 

so few have survived

to be here always
but I know your always there 

when I need you

even if you aren't, materially. 

move

my next move

is to perhaps to remove 

myself from here

I swear, it's been to long,

and I know it's time for me 

to move on

but where, where, where to go

on this big earth,
I just don't know.

girl like me

hmm think he could ever like 

a girl like me?

half-mad, wholly lost

and more than a little flaky

space cadet, I bet 

you didn't know 

she's got a lot to give

but most people, they don't get her

and the way she chooses to live

freely 

still I wonder

could he ever like a girl like me

a righteous guy like that 

hmm I doubt it, but maybe we'll see

cloaked

yeah it is,
so weird to be wearing

an abaya again

yeah it is,
so weird to be reacquainted

with that old friend

hmm abaya

am I liar?

am I a fraud?

just trying to aim higher

abaya 

i kind of, sort of, love you

you make me feel almost real 

back to black, back on track 

sort of,  kind of, feeling again 

-You-

one person

yeah sometimes it just takes 

one person
to turn everything around
that person is you
yourself
but sometimes you need
someone else
to remind you
that you can
turn everything around
-to change, it's never too late-

African Heart

sort of in love 

with Africa

the people across the lands

-savannah connections-

dry, arid, hot

and when the old ladies

give me a secret smile

(it happens a lot)

I think to myself, maybe they know, 

I share the same blood

sort of we all do, Indian or not

they smile a lot 

African smiles 

beauty, in love with Africa

next door gypsies

irish traveller man 

smokes a joint 

while irish traveller boy 

plays ball, in the tall 

yellow grass
and it kind of looks like
he's havin' a mighty blast

but on the other hand
irish traveller man
looks sort of troubled
as he smokes his joint
and stares at bits of rubble
on the yellow grass
side by side, together

tattoos cover arms

paint covers tattoos

and then, he whips out 

his blackberry

and gypsy boy

runs a hand through his 

raggedy mow-hawk

hmm and she told me about
him and his little brother

who got rammed by a bull

horns touched body
he's lived a life so full
travelled the world,
totes unschooled

nine years old yeah,

to be a gypsy, I swear
that be the life

word therapy

unapologetic

you just don't get it 

do you? 

listen, I just like to write

shit down 

for no reason I've found

writing to be 

some kind of therapy 

some kind of cathartic 

yeah since I started 

I've not been able to stop

and now I don't want to drop

the words

You

sunny days

kicking back with ma mates

and on the way, I make

jokes, with random folks

and on the way,
I smile at strangers everywhere

without a single care 

in the world 

i remember then 

-I'm the most blessed person-

and life is actually 

more beautiful 

than beautiful 

yeah so take no notice

of the sadness for gladness

is ever-lasting

-Lord, it's YOU-

tale of two cities

mogadishu/ lahore

it eluded me before

yeah, I never saw

it, and if I hadn't now

I never would have known

the closeness between them 

yeah I admit, I was kind of thrown

when I found out

that they're one and the same

but the perception 

it still remains

-of difference-

funny/ the weird kind

old african man 

forgotten lottery numbers 

young indian man

a glass of red wine

school boy of twelve

ahead of his time
you said you don't know what

you're going to do with your life

in a manner of such panic
(just breathe kid, no one knows)

south ken

south ken

can't describe what I felt when

i moved through the dark subway

for the first time since that dark day

and I'd love to say 

that I've changed, but in all honesty

I haven't and for some reason

I still haven't let go of this place

for it was here, I came face to face

with my brokenness

-a stirring unrest (remains)-

and listen, I need to say 

what's in my head

so that I can finally move on

listen, I've never known 

what it means to belong

I've only ever known

what it means to be wrong

and out of the hundred thousand places I've been 

this is the only place I can't seem

to shake off, I know I've got a lot

to learn, you know one day,

 I'd like to turn

it all around; I'd like to be found

I'd like to stop running. I'd like to live on the ground

not in the air, not in outer space

not in this place, 

that exists outside of material reality

listen can't you see, I'm trying to work
through it still
 this place-

abruptly I entered/ abruptly I left

and since then I've tried to forget 

and remember everything

-the whole of life-

but listen, I don't know man, 

I guess it was the only place

that two strangers tried,
two 'supervisors,'
maybe they're the reason why 

I can't let go, 

I want to change, but I don't know

how. Yeah, I miss you guys.

(and all the people I haven't seen since December)

and all the friends who I still remember

and think about all the time

and I want to change
yeah I want to change
I don't wanta be estranged
from humankind no more.
shit, can't believe
she thinks I'm still in lahore
damn

Mikaela M

Mikaela Mullings

you came across

as a young Skunk Anansie

and I saw you, yeah I saw you 

another stranger on the train

Mikaela Mullings

I don't know why

I remember your whole name

when you couldn't even recognise

me; my face

yeah there I was with my mates

on that central line train, laughing

but looking at you

trying to break through

some kind of impenetrable barrier

perception/ time

yeah I'm still trying to find

a way to reconnect with the past

Garbage in art class

-that's all I remember-

don't sell out

yeah man

i know 

ma books would never sell 

cos well, 

dey be honest

and honestly 

folks don't care about honesty 

no more, 

dey only care

about dem tings dey saw

in da movies, like

sex, drugs, rock and roll

see most people, yeah

dey don't give a shit

about da soul
about da whole
scheme of tings

joy/ a choice

hmm joyous, so joyous

to connect, to reflect 

on certain joys, boy 

am I going to miss you

and when I saw you

on the train, miss Q and we

talked about old history

it slowly came back to me

-everything-

and the river brent

it went 

nowhere

it went back 

to MaccyD's 

orange carrier bags 

yeah, at ease

but boy 

did I feel awkward

when you all cried

and when my words

were lacking, 

I wondered why

I felt nothing

when she must have meant 

something
(to me)

precision

a decision to make

the precision it will take

-exactitude-
to be 

right for once, 

to see 

the light for once
more,
or, or, or, 

again and again and again

will I ever overcome this thing, I sense

I may... one day, but that's
no good for me now,
that's no good for today
for today
the heart,
it grows ever-ever-ever grey

reviving dreams

dreamed i was 

in the basement

and the ceiling 

came crumbling down
dreamed I finally found

him from whom's rib

I was carved from

the meaning of perfection

(only to me) I long 

to find that being
to find a way of being

that estranged part of me

stranger still, that these dreams 

revive my slumbering soul

yet when I awake

same old, same old, same old

 still- the smiles they withhold

and impart, say everything

like the trembling already half-way there

man who took a seat, 

he took three

yes small kindnesses 

they exist out there on the streets

small kindnesses 

will they keep, will they keep, will they keep

us from the fire?

a gram

time man 

it kinda blows my mind fam

it kinda turns me blind, I am

still tryna find
a gram

of remorse

in this heart

of mine

east acton

passing through east acton

merging hours in the west

just moving with gravity

hmm I've got to confess

it eludes me still

this strange part of the city

the river brent

I wish I hadn't lent

it now,  

can I ask for it back somehow? 

...probably not...

broken ribs

a whole load of fibs

life gives and gives and gives

and we just go
<blank>

sleeping beauty on the train

he watched her 

as she rested her head 

against the glass

eyes closed

on the central line train

keyed up and nervous

he could hardly contain 

himself, were his eyes deceiving

was he still breathing

was she really there, in front of him

after all these years, a glorious mirage

here she was sleeping beauty
sleeping truly on the tube,

sleeping like she used to
a thousand years ago

and here he was, sat opposite, just staring

the world around him was fast disappearing

time, it stood still and in silence he willed 

her to open her eyes and

every time they flickered

his heart leapt 

up, sleeping beauty, he whispered
in his mind, open your eyes
open your eyes, open your eyes
his whispers grew louder
and more desperate
open your eyes

open your eyes, open your eyes

-a hundred thousand tries-
open your eyes

open your eyes

open your eyes

then all of a sudden the train alighted

-he leapt up-
I must fight it

forever happened 

and it can't be undone

and if you can't open your eyes

it means I've become 

wholly irrelevant

-and just like that he departed-