Lahore, I miss you.

Lahore-

 I miss you.

I miss your colour

I miss your magic

I miss your people 

I miss your dusty streets

and I miss your stifling heat

I miss your warmth.

Lahore, 

I miss your kingdom

I miss your children 

I miss their smiles and their wiles

Lahore I miss walking for miles
 everyday 

to Shalimar Gardens

through a labyrinth of markets 

that harden 

folk.

Where I am now

Where I've been

Will I ever understand

what it all means?

I miss the creatures that roam

I miss home.

I wonder, 

is it possible to feel homesick

towards a land so derelict

so ill-equipped

for a dreamer
like me? 

If only I could make you see-
Lahore!

Lahore, I miss your heart

But is it really possible for me to start

a new life in your land

and yet remain how I am

myself-

how I think 

and how I live? 

How can I give 

back?

Lahore I want a piece of you

I want to buy a piece of you 

and create a magical place

a sacred space

a school filled with joy and learning

Lahore, I will never stop yearning 

for you

for this dream. 

I'd create a nature reserve 

where I'd serve 

up natural ideas and 

spiritual delights
and I'd share with friends,
such beautiful sights.

Lahore I miss you, I do. 

Lahore, I have so many plans

I can't tell you

But you know they always fall 

through.

Time is ticking Lahore

What does the future have in store

for me?

I'm scared 

I'll get distracted and forget

the promises I made to the children I met

by the banks of the river Ravi.

Should I really go away

to do an MA 

in Creative Writing

or should I keep fighting 

to make this dream a reality(?)...

Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger,

you may find this hard to take

but I find it hard to relate

to you and to the rest of humankind.

Sometimes I have to remind

myself that we were both created out of one Mind

a Mind that we will never understand.

We were both formed from the same Hand.

I'm sorry Stranger, that I can't break through

your exterior and find the interior

the thing that binds
us, humankind

together as one.  

Chance Encounter

Ny, you walked right by

me today at the station-

I tugged you,

you turned around

and I hugged you.

We talked

but I never got the chance

to say sorry-

I'm sorry that I missed your wedding

it was doing my head in

thinking about how to break it to you.

There's no reason good enough,

There's no excuse.

My dear, 

you know this year

I've missed quite a few

and the guilt I have accrued

has been great

but to tell you the truth

I don't like weddings

they make me feel strange

and out of place. 

I never know what to wear

or what to say or what to do

I just hang about awkwardly

and wait till it's through

I just wait for the

Muslim equivalent of 'I do'

before zipping on out of there

this much is true.

But I'm sorry still

I should have gone against my will

and cancelled those 'important plans' 

I had made

and instead been there for you 

on your big day.

I didn't realise how much I missed you

and your blue eyes

until I saw you today

after nearly a year (and a half)

I hope you're happy dear

I really do

and I hope life works out for you

through and through.

With love

Return

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

Truly, to God we belong and truly, 

to Him we shall return.

So stand firm, daughter of Adam.

I repeated these words in my mind,

no others words I could find

that would offer me a sense of peace

as I walked away

one last time.

This Old Reverie

Are you there now by any chance?

I glanced inside this old reverie

Because if you are

I'm not that far away

What do you say?

I mean I could easily drop by

just to say hi

...if you like.

And should you ask me to stay

for part of the day,

or for a cup of tea maybe?

Maybe I would...stay

Seeds to Grow

She lives life

as through she's already dead,

And often I find myself

wondering what led

to her to being there.

What fear?

What strife

had rendered life

too much for her to bare?

Such despair!

What was it in her fate

that had led her to this state

that made her lose all hope

and forever mope

about...

And why, I tried

to understand, can't she just let go?

Why can't she just sow

new seeds, the seeds she needs

to grow?  

Hey Kid

If only one person would say

hey kid, you've made the right decision

you had a vision

and you went after it.

So what, if you didn't hit

the mark.

You tried, and that's good enough...

Life on Repeat

Ever feel

like you're living

the same day

over and over again?

When,

will these wounds heal?

When,

will I feel

whole again?

Or am I cursed

with the worse

kind of memories

the kind that won't

fade away?

Will I one day

go insane

like those kids

on roaccutane?

Christmas Parties

I must confess

I hate Christmas parties

and I avoid them like the plague

vaguely I remember one

and it was not fun.

See I'm not about that life

drinking, fornicating and with a knife

stabbing at a vital part of myself-

the soul cries, the heart slowly dies;

wise are those who give them a miss

for it is they who minimize the risk

of rendering themselves fools- 

rule yourself: mind, body and soul. 

I saw it once, written on a toilet wall:

'Slaves of earthly desire

are we destined for the fire?'

Man Versus Machine

Man, I'm just so damn tired

of forever being wired

to this godforsaken wireless world

of unreality.

Here I await a fatality

Here I await my finality

Here, in this banality

I live, in this maddening

wireless world

In this wireless world

to connect is to forget

what living means

as a human being

screams all around,

so much noise, but no sound

no real sound, can be found

in this unreality

And in the absence of the sacred

you can make it by remaining aloof,

let loose, unplug,

to remove yourself from the system

and to find your own wisdom

from above or within

is to win, in this war

between man and machine

to be free, to see

-clearly.

Fight for it,

a life outside this crazed

wireless world of unreality...

Two Friends

I once knew

two Muslim men

back when

I worked in Clapham

and it just so happened

that one was from Bosnia

and the other was from

Sierra Leonne

and both were known

to be best of friends.

They would play tennis together

whatever the weather

and they asked me often

to come and watch them

I never did

But these two friends

would often lend

me the best of advice,

they sure were wise

and they had much in common

as children

neither had learned to pray

but now, both would often say

inshAllah!

Time went by

and soon they went their

separate ways

it fazed, me.

The way paths often collide

but only for a while

we all part ways

eventually and always.

And no one stays-

behind.