overboard, bored though

you got

10,000 ins

but even so

you know

its real tough to begin

to begin to begin

to start over

to throw the

whole load

overboard

-----------everything

sparrow death

in the crematorium chapel 

she cries quietly
in the crematorium chapel

he watches on mildly

afraid 

afraid of her tears
afraid of her tears

silently he prepares

to say the right words

but she stays rooted

there on that pew

she stays rooted
she cries for a few

hundred thousand moments

she cries for her loss,
                    for his ashes

she cries for her loss,
                               but then she catches

                                  the eye of a sparrow

his eye is on the sparrow

he whispers

his eye is on the sparrow
                human knowing
 is far too narrow

so take comfort
in knowing
                                     that you are free
upon hearing his words she
slowly rose

his eye is on the sparrow

should i stay or should I go

midnight boats

ghost

             lights

neon reflections

in the water

the wind howled

and I've been here before

just a thought

I've been here before

back then I sought

to never be here

but here I am again

alone and cold

weary and old

unable to hold 

onto the light

unable to fight 

off ----- darkness

nightmares

old fears, 

                     should I just

book a one way ticket

to the moon?

I wonder, 

                is it too soon

....to go far far away again....

nomad dream

lately,
I been thinking about you a lot
I been thinking about mongolia
                                  I wish we gave it a shot
I been thinking about the river
                                 that night
a hill, the moon was so bright
I been thinking about
                                 our long conversations
the constellations
                       above our heads,
              the field of cows,
                                  the things you said
and just

                                   stuff
     you know I meet enough
people, but none like you

I miss you

frozen icicles

a dream

     of icicles

and niagra

                                                  of times gone by

treadmill

life 

             its kinda like

being on a treadmill

running and running

speeding and slowing

but essentially 

getting nowhere

stop and stare

like a stowaway

go away

                        throw away

your numbers

accidental

 but on purpose

if only-------------- it was known before

twenty four, 

I been here before

stowaway

on buses at night

looking at the neon lights

watching the jews with tall hats

long coats all black

altogether

dreaming of forever

of zion, 

in the distance the lion

roars, 

pause

the greek music plays

it takes me to another place

but where.....

but                 where.....

          but       where...

blue tuesday

blue tuesday

dejevu

I looked up to

the pool reflections

I prayed to you

in the mosque again

I was thinking 

                 I have a long way to go

don't I?

I was thinking

just a few dozen thoughts

floating backwards

life has taught

                     me nothing

somewhere else

monday blues

a sickness runs through

too vague to speak of

but then after work

I ran for miles

I swam

I found home

the mosque at night

the full moon so bright

He is with me

                          tears streamed

my heart seemed

at peace

justtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

four midnights      

                            in a row in a row  in a row

five hundred chances

the distance               

                      you still have to go to go to go

the bridges 

                   you still have to cross, to cross, to cross

and you're at loss

because it's fading

like a mirage

              your visage

and communication

                               comes hard

harder than hard

but sometimes its

easier smoking

                                     and joking

and choking

                      on a memory

                         a thought unvoiced

tracing patterns

in the void

in the tibetan peace garden

                        beat the lows

all for show

                              but the show got cancelled

so many years ago

move on 

----------------------------------switch continents

there ain't nothing here for you

dangerous signs

signs 

dangerous signs

everywhere

like dogs running free

in the industrial estate

like penalty for begging 

200 pounds

like way out

upside down

signs

dangerous signs
everywhere

old habits

old habits die hard

dreaming on buses

late at night so far

from home

so far from home

to roam

to think a thought

both

equally unlikely to happen

equally unlikely

to happen

just a thought

there (nearly there)

clarity

because i'm nearly there

because i'm so close I swear

I'm so close

because this is as good

as it gets

my dreams, they let

me go there, to that place

because this as good 

as it gets

so near

two years

of this, a breeze

swimming

at ease

running

oh god please

let this feeling

last forever

let me not

throw my cap 

onto the ground

like that beautiful little jewish boy

with two curls in his hair

let me not stomp my feet

rather may I lift my arms up in the air

and run and run and run

and run and run and run

and swim and swim and swim

till I get there

let me not drown

let me get to my destination

two more years

but here

I'm nearly there

there is here

you're already there

nearly

keep going

dem folks

is it

is that what your about

posting

boasting

supposing

the world ends tomorrow

would it matter

wake up 

before they shatter

the windows

surrounding your dream

it was never about that for me

you know it

you know

it
it was never about that                            

like fools

in a single week

angel twice in a row

carving out Neanderthals

angel twice in a row 

carving out Neanderthals

at night, at night

on the shore

in the sand

at night at night

madness galore

sketching Neanderthals

in some cafe

at twilight twilight

sitting listening

wondering what to say

in the Indian YMCA

by danbury street canal

honeywood museum

and various schools

in a single week

in a single week

in a single week

close

you hugged me so tight

you almost crushed all my bones

girl, i had a feeling you might

be all on your own

like then like then like then 

all men all men all men

are they the same?

i miss you i miss you i miss you

you hugged me so tight

you said you never wanted to let go

girl you said let's go

some where, 

you almost crushed all my bones

you're with child

you're with child

a flashback

a dream

a flashback

there you were

its too late to backtrack

i heard

you went to the mountains

i heard

you went to the mountains

you went to the mountains

alone

i heard 

you went to the mountains

-so out of reach and hollow through-

you went to the mountains

to renew

spirits, did you not?

are we not

one and the same

proclaim

on top of a mountain

life is not real

on top of a mountain

the sunrise, did it heal?

did you find God

parallels/////

did you watch
particles, stars, constellations

                                                soon to collide
                                                                            

who knows

maybe you'll find me
one day, in His remembrance

(the peace that you feel is real life)

solitude in mosques

there, 

lying on a carpet

of a mosque

flashbacks

to the holy land

where I lost

my mind, 

floating-------------

as ever

two years

------------whatever

i'll be so far away

from here

that here

won't matter

no 

here won't matter

red zone

what you doing here

errr yeah

i live upstairs

in the red zone

s'why you'll find me 

often lurking here alone

I sleep in paleo

and dream in the earth gallery
I reside in a fallacy
created by a mind
          not mine
and most days you'll find
----------me in unlikely places. 

carries messages, nerves and cells

the inherent 

emptiness of the human condition

you know it well 

you said you would tell

me all about it

ten thousand souls you left hanging

gates crash---- a mighty clanging

resounding

cold and metallic

then one day

you look through your pockets

only to find

torn numbers and broken lockets

half-names and tasks incomplete

promises obsolete

for there is

nothingness, but You

but You, but You Lord

                         my vein is missing

my jugular vein is no more

and so everything is nothing

inessential

when the gloom

is so thick

the moon so slick

and silver

and invisible

and solitude is

all encompassing

and there's only i

the sky is only sky

clouds with nothing beyond

nothing below

nothing above

and i is nothingness

nothingness to love

just letters

that came to pass

that never last

so why do we care

               so why do we bare

the inessential

fine hawk

trapped in a mirror                         

within a dream

don't wanna wake

                                            cos that'll only mean

I'm outta time 

                I'm outta time

                                I walked on blue

I treaded across a fine 

and flimsy sheet of chalk

from above a hawk

stared

                                 its beady beady eyes

dark, imploring demise

                      came unto me

sunrise

a crystal carpet of iridescent

                         ice

                     the fading moonrise

the dawn break

               the violent swans

the steam above the lake

              the worthy pines

the wooden spines

and a single thought

and a single                     thought

it came to pass

self-destructive 

                             child

why do you go so 

                                     wild

often

                   so mild

wholly riled 

                     and extreme

                                        you whisper

you scream

                   death come unto me!

death came to see

                   

                                        you weren't joking

and by then it was too late

was it not too late?

and then it came to pass

here be

here be

here be peace

here be east

and west 

the meeting point

the junction

here lies
                    your soul
your sole
broken
presumption       

and it came to pass

and it came to pass

no going back 

here be 

everything you are

everything you were

the sum of it all

you've come far

but further is closer

and closer is on the horizon

the horizon never ends

here is near

here is almost here

you're almost there

keep going

then

you got through

you ran ten thousand miles

to a place you almost knew

the earth grew
                        wider

it had to be here

here be -----everything

mornings not for people

before dawn

then dawn itself

folding in on itself

         a time 

before time, 

birdsong 

words wrong, 

before time

before the line

a sentence, a paragraph

an utterance

dawn, 

there in camden

neon lights and random

things and things

looked so different

without people

without the people

in the cold soft light of dawn

without the people

exposing and forlorn

offloading, bits of torn-----

paper

not much later

I followed the grand union canal 

up to the path I know well

 up primrose hill

          the sky was murky and so ill

           the sun it will

not rise for me

or the youngsters already there

like they came out of 

a tv series, a novela, a movie 

about broken dreams

and love and what it means

to be that age

-------a teenage 

     are, you there, 

still? another sunrise

the sun was missing

or it rose the other way

and I wasn't looking

so I wandered back onto 

that old train 

and closed my eyes, 

wishing sleep came

when it was supposed to

and there then, it came out

the sun, in lower marsh

I had a cup of tea alone

and then at lunch 

I went home

to the river 

a home

to me 

a place to be

and even later on 

that very day

I went to see St Paul

I heard the cathedral say

it's you

 it's you again

it's you

and so I crossed the silver

but still the

whispers continued

so soft like the tunes they sung

the men with dreadlocks

and the two musicians who came

up again

and a crowd of ten thousand

but to travel, to travel and to just be

exactly

where you're supposed to

it doesn't get much better....

                          than this

alhumdulillah 

bus windows

and now your leaving

to go there

the place where real life

sometimes resides

and now where am I

where am I

                       floating

on

            getting  

somewhere

             forgetting

that there

           is a place

where you exist

sometimes I stare

 through bus windows 

and just miss

you              

people we meet

algebra

algazali

alfriston

and geometry

collecting ammonites

and firing up 

clay 

we're all made of it

you came up again

and throwing up to the sky

sandwiches

as night

fades

into day

the seagulls swoop

and catch them

by the bay

from eat

from eat

wasted you took them

before you left

goodbye 

meanwhile

morrocan love

the family waited

for a stranger

they were fated 

to meet

and

the empty polish club

with fruit and lemons

flashing lights

and demons

gone

faces we know

names we don't

but love

is out there-------every(where)

and tyger tyger burning bright

william blake, he was right

belief

underneath

falsitude

it lies, it connects

everything

kitties and wool

knitting for kittens

so beautiful, you were smitten

for shining iridescent eyes

purrs so soft

you kept sewing 

you got so lost

in your stitches and thoughts

come back again

to the material world

--------no, never
you whispered 

take spring

 she's back; 

                        you said

5am          she's wandering around

in your head

            I saw the thread

of light, 

the sunrise

beyond the lake

I heard the birds

         make

whimsical and pretty

noises: sound patterns in the air

I could hear,

them tweet tweet tweet in the sky

        people, we can also fly

                just go to the lake

                              and take

a deep breathe

for this is living

for spring is giving

us a chance 

to start again

 -----------take it

dropped out

dad you once said to me

no one can live your life for you

we won't be around forever

and neither will they

listen carefully to what i have say

you can';t live in someone elses' pocket

you;re heart, sometimes you have to lock it

one day you'll understand

one day I'll understand