Friday 15 June 2018

canteen lyf

weight upon weight
from the back ends of borough market
to the castle canteen
   I'm losing 
                                    steam
  half-living 
                             in an oddball dream 
in it, remain piles of unwashed dishes
and mountains of vegetables
sketchy and wondrous characters
sitting on pastel-coloured round tables
trading tall tales, absurd fables

ilham brings me flowers
that she picked from her garden
mira brings me china plate
on it a pink boy and a pink girl are kissing
words above
kissin don't last
words below
cookin' do
john brings me something too
half a packet of lockets, a celine dion cd
anji brings me a book
the sensuous poetress
a book of poems
written by an aging minx
that sometimes frequents the castle
I read one, and wince
I convince
myself, that everything is fine
but the line
is blurring           and change is occurring 
david accompanies me, to fetch black pepper
i wait on a golden ticket at sainsbury's
                    it takes so long
    like everything 
    every thing in this dream
a spectacle of visions           
stella, she says I'm too kind
and that people will walk all over me
i know she's wrong and I know she's right
     i know im wrong and i know i'm right

aerus sings a song and plays the guitar
and afterwards asks if i'll marry him
strum on, 
o_0
I walk backwards
etherealla says her legs aren't working so good
/ |
elsie goes on about the narcissist, and power and abuse
what's the use
no she doesn't want to get married
no, already she's carried
too much weight, the weight of others
lovers
that never knew the how to love
warren's not shown up for weeks
maybe he's gone back in
I think maybe I'll bump into him
fishing by the wandles edge
Barry's indoors most days
paul hardly comes round, he says 
it all gets too much
someone told me they saw him at the tent
martin's head aches have stopped
he's stopped asking about brothels
he's stopped wearing his aviator glasses
and his top hat
he tried to give pretty yasmin 10 pounds
merril's still smiling
despite it all, the MS is ever limiting
making warriors of the sick
alan is still going to the hope group
at springfield 
he said so, I dropped a flyer off at his house
I didn't know it was his house
margie is back
she gave fidyah, because she can't fast
the cancer's gone, 
her mother's gone too
she said she went to australia to say goodbye
later tony comes by
I don't know where he went
navid is away
I hope he found the comfort he sought
Ray wasn't around
Ted got spooked
the man who puts out the vegetables
from the bloodied mountains of pakistan
is becoming mute
he says its hard, and the devil comes at him from every side
in a dream I told him to hold tight
to God's rope
he signs he saw sam
and he wasn't himself
agressive and in pain
he wasn't himself
and gosh, 
the weight, it's sometimes crushing
   depleting
mrs patel grabs the bread and soup
the others cry out      
meanwhile
in the kitchens the highly functioning golden girls
chop and cook and stir
perhaps soon, another change will occur
canteen life
gets me high
brings me down
         
canteen life
goes round and round