Almost Blue

composed a eulogy in my head
        you're still alive, not yet dead
the words almost read
true

almost blue

still
 thinking of you
thinking of you

almost knew

it would end
always spend
too much time
thinking

starving, a bit sad
the last ten days
are here, i almost had
an inclination

almost blue
still
thinking of you

still wanting

it to be true

forever lasts a day

a single memory in a haze
growing thicker

and thicker

& thicker 

Here be everything- epilogue

a hundred hues

of gold and grey

a hundred reasons

to stay away

only one - to seek a new way

-to live

oh to live

to live to live to live

Ya Allah,

the holy month

is passing by ever so fast, 

this fleeting peace 

 never seems to last

unless you cultivate it

Ya Allah

in between fasting

and praying and yearning

and saying

things to You

in between working and wandering

reflecting and pondering

in between visits

to your house

on the edge of regents park

the elders are calling me

the sirens are wailing

the outlaws are scaling

walls.

in between

love and hate

the never-ending wait

and a fate-

willfully abandoned

In between it all

umbra sumus