Tuesday, 25 April 2017

(recalling memories on the) 48 bus

48 bus
      there's never enough
two d a y s, 
nothing makes
sense anymore 
things seem meaningless, 
I wander what it's all for

                gazing out the 48 bus    
in faraway         walthamstow 
listening to heart
wishing I could start
over anew
someplace else//// 
gosh, how tiresome, 
                these thoughts on loop
take a step back, try to regroup
she said you seem depressed
i shrug, think it's just the meds
I'll be fine when I'm better
just trying, to keep moving,
I keep losing
track, of where I am
but right now I'm here
and I miss you
a kiss on her forehead
when did you get so big
beautiful girl
stay free, stay free stay free
i know your mum just wants me
to settle down, and to grow up
I don't want to, but some days I feel so stuck
the bus goes past clapton pond
strangers take their seats
I watch others delete
thoughts, passing reveries
so many memories
the bus goes by
my old offices, 
the church yard where I would sit
the walls of the old chapel
I painted them in white
how strange and fragmented, 
this one precious life
this living
this living london
come undone
the streets I would often roam
the bus goes by
the city, the city, the city
until it reaches it's last stop
the real journey begins