everything-ness

'danger danger!'

the park ranger 

bellowed

as he ran across 

the empty plain-

at the edge of the 

horizon 

three old men 

from Trinidad 

played the steel pans,

their fans 

gladly rejoiced

the horses galloped

the bisons danced

the flowers and trees

went into an unearthly trance 

swaying backwards and forwards

they slowly edged towards us

beside me
mr goldfish stood up straight

for fate had presented him 

with a new mate

a golden sunflower

with a secret power

to destroy planet earth

I watched on mirth 

in my eyes

at the surprise

of this everythingness-

any wonder

rendered 

ever weak 

every week 

i tried to be better
then last night
i re-read that letter 

i wrote to You

i read it and 

i realized

the truth

the truth is

You gave me 

everything 

i ever asked for 

and in return 

i broke every 

promise

i ever made 

its time for me to fade- 

away,
i know i've over-stayed 

my welcome

seldom, do I make

this mistake

oh, sorry fate

i don't know 

what's real and what's fake
for peace's sake 

is it any wonder 

my life has 

gone asunder

again?

window ledge

...in the early hours of the morning 

she sits at her window ledge 

and looks out onto the street

once in a while a a cool breeze 

hits her face

and in the orange streetlight glow

she spells out words from below

from 'disabled' she makes words

like able and bed and sad and led

 and sometimes

she lets her legs dangle 

the wind blows through her toes

and she knows, then 

deep down everything will be okay

but that's not to say 

she doesn't think about it 

in truth, she'd like to slide down the roof

for the thrill, to escape the still

life she's leading and
the crazy -ish she be dealing 

with in her head.

heaven -sent

slowly goin' blind

slowly losin' my mind

all the while

still tryna find

out what's wrong with me

man i can no longer

see so good no more

I no longer lock

the cellar door

in case I fall asleep

in case I can no longer reach

that place I have to reach

how can I teach

myself patience again

how can I, when patience

be heaven-sent...

head plumber

my brain be clogged

needs to be unblocked

know any good  

head plumbers?

letter to my heart

dear heart,

when did you depart 

from me? see you still beat 

but not with feeling, 

you say you need healing 

heart, 

but I think its about time to start

acting right again-

listen, dear heart,  

you mustn't admit defeat 

just take the heat

and move on

the past is gone 

forever 

it's time to get it 

together-

same species

To Edward Said's
'others'

we gotta work twice as hard 

as our humanoid brothers

who show no mercy
we're equally worthy

it's important for us, friends, to 

trust 

no one 

and everyone too

but whatever you do

don't let your anger brew 

because at the end of the day 

we're the same species 

believe me 

as much as it grieves me 

we're not so different

'them' and 'us'

so rise up 

and never stop 

trying to make 

a difference
never stop
trying to make
things right

mad clarity, he doth speak-

modernity-

for all eternity 

I'd like to stay away

in the short time I've know you 

you've thrown my life into disarray 

I don't understand you, modernity

you robbed me of the certainty 

I once possessed 

with smoke, tool and vice

you enticed me 

but now, modernity-

eternity is waiting 

and I choose to 

go back

decisions

...to accept

or to decline

I'm wasting my time

sitting here

thinking

blinking-

slowly sinking

back into an unreality...

the hollow

days pass by

dark circles beneath dark eyes

and yet another sleepless night

to follow

this be a hollow

existence

real shadows

they're real 

shadows can feel 

too, you know.

girl- interrupted

Do you remember 

in Girl Interrupted

when Susanna erupted

and said she didn't know 

whether or not she was mad

well that bit made me sort of sad

and her troubled journal entries
 too, her wry observations
made me question 

all situations
 that I put down in words

were they real,
or were they like hers

unrelated, fabricated, desecrated,
Not sure why I was so captivated
by her, 

by the troubled writer girl- 

Hmm I don't know,
but I've come to know this; 

I am bound to my book, 

but my book is not me 

you see, humankind we

are not the sum 

of the worst thing

we've ever done. 

minds troubled

up in flames-

unspoken words

a never-ending train of them 

haunt minds troubled

imprinted

at long last 

a chance
to write over the past

so I tread over old

footprints in the mud
thud, thud, thud, 

from the last time I was here

I screwed up then

it will probably happen again

but life-
 even though sometimes you're hard

even though lately
I've constantly been on guard-

thank you for existing

thank you for resisting, 

my pleas for you-
to give up on me. 

cracks

less than perfect

cracks beneath the surface

are beginning to show

less than perfect
there's no need to unearth it
it's time for you to go
see, you were wrong
it's clear to us all
you don't belong,
here any more

how it is now...

so this is how it is now

we're all on different parts 

of this big ball 

known as earth 

and this be my turf
at present, I guess

but I won't stay west 

forever. I endeavour

to travel back round

full circle one day

and on my way

I'll stop off 

and see you all

but right now, 

I just need the tools 

to make it that far 

without falling apart
I need to make it

without falling apart

without falling apart

have heart-

always and forever

ease

cloud and blue 

silent all the way through 

a gold breeze
travels into
the tiny holes,
of the flowery net curtain

and I'm curtain 

this is ease

runs deep

I mean, it's easy for you to say 

that everything will be okay

and truly, honestly, really
 I wish I could believe you 

but what I'm going through-

runs so much deeper than that

to be free

mad contemplation

as I wander through the woods

I'd give up all my goods 

to live under this one

ancient tree

all I want in life is to be free

I just want to be free

I want to be free

I want to be free
I want to be free

Windswept Tree

...lately I've been having 

the strangest dreams 

it seems, they're more beautiful 

than I ever imagined reality to be

rural Rotherham, unearthly sunsets

from the past, the colours 

and that one tree

that one lonely windswept tree. 

Some days its hard to breathe. 

Some days I wish I could leave

this time, 

maybe rewind, 

maybe fast forward

a few days, a few months, a few years 

to a time when all my crazy fears

just dissipate...

a kid named salvation

he waits on Salvation

platform 6

kings cross station

be patient-

he's probably just 

running 

late..

techni-coloured humility

-wildflowers

a thousand hours

for each to wilt

for each to tilt

its head 

downwards

dusty dreams

so often is seems

so many of our dreams

are left to gather dust

in a yesterday forgotten

Wake up, it's Fajr time!

Dear sis, I miss 

my fajr wake up calls

from you. You and I,
we grew together,
and now you're gone

 forever, and my phone 

it no longer rings-

see, it was those little things

that made us who we were

back then.

silver snow, evergreen and the night sky.

a cup of sweet tea

under the midnight moon

seemed to cure my soul, 
of its restless moody gloom

sipping whilst treading below

on a sheet of silver-specked snow

an ethereal glow, emanates from

the shimmering floor, 
bird shadow 
against the night sky

and the shrieking cry
of a lonely fox

the white flakes 
cling to evergreens 

eternity seems 

ever present 

Further above, 

a streak of purple

and a pool of stars so bright 

the London sky, 
looks beautiful tonight

Strain of Madness

I can't seem to shake 

this feeling of deja vu

see, I've been through

this before, back then 

I swore, 

I'd take care 

this sense of fear,
exists inside me 

it grows and so does

the sadness, a strain of 

madness has spread

and still
even now
I can't work out
this old riddle 

I'm riddled, someone's

fiddled, with my head.

let it be said- 

I've never felt so low.

maybe its a sign 

maybe it's time 

for me to go 

away again

maybe I should 

come back when 

I figure shit out. 

Son

black eye
busted lip 

time now son 

to get a grip

time now
 to change your ways

time now
 to shave your face

time now
to end our
row-

son it's time to wake up. 

son it's time to
get out of this rut 

it's time son

to live right.
ah don't worry boy 

you'll be alright

ice cold words

...in fury

he burned

 as he turned

them around 

in his head

 those ice 

cold words

she had read

out loud...

End of the Line

Ma, that night

when you called me-

I tried so hard to sound happy

Could you tell I was faking?

Could you tell I was breaking

from the inside? It's hard to hide

from you ma...

pink snow

a shade of pink

 the sky so low 

the snow- 

it settles, 

in a transient 

peace.