Sunday, 25 May 2014

give it up, giving them up

you just can't stay away
can you sy
don't matter how hard you try
your friends
they're just always around
making you smile and laugh
at things so crazy and daft
they make you feel
less lost and more found
less mental and more sound
less broken
more outspoken
more you
so quit trying to drive
them away

love to you guys

Saturday, 24 May 2014

please leave a message after the tone

i'm taking some time out
for me
i'm learning to say no
to see
if it'll make a difference
so don't ask me
to come out
don't ask me to stay out
don't ask me
to help you get your shit together
when I can't decipher whether
or not i'm living
I need to take some time out 
for me
to be free
and if you really cared
you'd respect that

Friday, 23 May 2014


you always look 
so dark and broody
so lost in thought
it's hugely
watching the shadows
flit across your face
each half thought
a wish to trace
the lines of worry
so unearthly
to take away the pain 
you feel, to watch you heal
and to heal in the process
you always look
so troubled and wounded
i can see 
your see-through

Thursday, 22 May 2014

dim light, something

mum i saw you 
floating up the road
like a mystic phantom
a dream, deeply sad and 
more than random
sometimes I can't stand them
they don't count
do they mum, 
but then you were real
I knew you were real
when you  took me in your arms
when you took me in your arms
a calm, 
washed over me then
and I could have stayed there forever
mother i'm still chasing 
guide me to the light
i pray that I might
                     be like you

                            many years later
she came to realise
                       many years later
she came to realise                                          
many years later
                               the streetlights

grew dim

Monday, 19 May 2014

vague as anything be taken (a)back
           to a forgotten time
                                     life is but a fine
 chiselled down dream
                                                  vague as anything....

The Fear

slipping away
forever slipping away
your messages
your messages they relay
                        so much
more than you do
Busan, Niagra, Istanbul
and then
every corner of here
a rip, a tear           
                                     desperate desperation,
for time  
                         if only we had the time
to really stay connected
once upon a time
 a stray message resurrected
a friendship 
              dead and gone
slipping away 
forever slipping away
maybe in another world
your voice will relay
more than your stray messages

Sunday, 18 May 2014

backpack life and piety

backpack life
I travel light
within my bag
the sum
of all I posses
some clothes
where I'll end up
who knows
and so I ask 
can I stay over tonight?
and girl you say
sure, of course
you know you don't hafta ask
and at night
at night we have a laugh
on the swings by your estate
and I'm humbled by your state
of pure piety
and I can see
I've fallen 
and there on another hill
northala, we could still
chat like we used to
on the hills of northola
we're older
so much older
but still so young
and so you make me pray
I make you say
you'll make me good
make me better
and so we recite surahs
 at dawn, late at night
cameroon girl
back then you changed my life
and who would have imagined
all these years later
we'd end up here
you and I
sam and sy

here I am
still living a backpack life

hood rat
get it back
                      real faith

safari cinema

gold light
streaming in through
the gaps
in the tall tree tops
 hundreds of splinters of gold
the light of a star, starlight
safari cinema
the wild animals bite
steel pans

        the lion roars
                                              a sweet
cruel melody

stories of place

ten thousand stories
ten thousand places
all in this city
it's a pity
no one wants to know

stranger free

people together
i see them everywhere
i go, but i go alone
often, even when I don't
start out that way
I end up by some lake
some reservoir
some woods, the boulevard
the hood
yeah, I end up alone
a lone ranger
a wayfaring stranger
you know this 
you know this
and this is where freedom lies

Sunday, 11 May 2014

adult world

when did that happen
when did that happen
            adult things to say
should I lend you money 
                      for the rent
you'll make a good mum
                                 are you really 
                going to be a mum
unable to process
six months 
and things like
are you going to get a divorce
did he relapse
did she force
             you to say yes
adult things to say
and they 
come out so (un)natural
like sure, I'll baby sit
sure, I can skip
the next few years

meet someone?
get married?
           nah, I don't know about that
I don't know about stuff like that
marriage and kids
careers and shit
nahh, he was right
                        I'm just a kid
just a kid exploring 
sometimes adoring
all that surrounds

what do I know
    about adult things to say....

 not much, I'll tell you that

vespas and vinyls

the air was thick 
                       with regret
girl, you and I
where did it go
six months
our helmets, vespa's, vinyls
and now all that's left
is an air, thick with regret
I wish I met 
         you sooner
maybe in another life


of living life
twenty four seven
you stop living
twenty four seven
five plus eleven
sy-deffects include
slow reactions
delayed processing
brain fog
head pain

a racing heart
and thoughts that dart
from one thing to another
sy-deffects include
apathy, and an allergy
to continuity

side effects
sigh deflects

will you not miss it?

street kid
hood rat
are you happy
will you not miss it
the freedom
of midnights and dawns
spent alone
                                    in lahore 
will you not miss it
your lone adventures
shared ones too,
will you not miss them
your friends
your life
will you not miss it
the way the heavy rain falls
on your short tangled mess of a hair
by canals where none walk
will you not miss
the heavy rain,
the white light
the stationary boats
and a smile across your face

will you not miss it
a wonder around a temple
beside ruins
under rainbows, on top of hills
sometimes so still
in prayer

will you not miss it

the weeks
that feel like lifetimes
will you not miss it
the busy streets and open skies
calling people up
asking if you can go over
stay over
wait, laugh till it hurts
with no inhibitions,

will you not miss it
hood rat
street kid

will you not miss it?
will you not miss it?

side walk of life

your poems, 
they compensate 
for feelings you don't have
you said 
where did your heart go?
numb, you're numb 
and so you write to become
midnight travelling bum
you're nowhere in particular
you feel nothing
but sometimes sadness
when the phone keeps ringing
ring ring ring ring
and no one picks up
but sometime sadness
when you come home 
and there's no one around
but sometimes sadness 
when your looking at the lake 
and experience an ache 
in the crux of your being
your soul, your soul, your soul
but sometimes happiness
a hug, a pat on the head
kind words, certain memories
ten thousand unplanned adventures
with friends from everywhere
but happiness sometimes
when you're on the road
wondering alone
up the side walks of life
and it's beautiful
and magical
too deep to speak of
too free, too free, too free
and coming together
with your true self
being your true self

secret garden, gone

secret Japanese garden
uprooted, a heap of compost
a pile of rubble
secret Japanese garden
gone, gone, gone
symbolic of all that went
wrong wrong wrong
there there there
(no-thing is for-ever)

Thursday, 8 May 2014

living and forgetting

and after a time
of waiting and forgetting
of forgetting and waiting
just like that
you came back into my life
and you brought with you
renewed dreams
never to become material
always to remain arial 
on a rooftop, faraway 
fuzzy and uncertain
fast fading, draw the curtain
on a vision long gone

but we know

you and i
and i can live in dreams
or at least I can try
for your the only one
i have left

her perfect world

in my perfect world
she said
she said we'd wear whatever
but we wouldn't wear masks
we would be ourselves
nobody would have to ask
we could talk openly
with our mouths full of food
we wouldn't care, 
there would be no such thing as rude
we'd live free
we'd live happy
we'd just live
in my perfect world
we'd just live
she said

what more can I ask?

there in that courtyard
of the hospital
in the quiet
in quiet parallels
fear fades and hope swells
there in that courtyard
walls, all scarred
the empty screams
peeling paint
the shadow leans
 and a soul faints
but screw it 
I thought
and went over to yours
and we watched ragged men
sing songs of lahore
you phillipino, girl
half indian
me, somewhere else
both happy then
I know happiness
and its that
singing with you
speaking to toku
wandering in the rain
by the fallow deer
wondering with no care
in the world, no commitments 
no worries, going slow, in no hurry 
no care, I flare
up in there
and so I don't care
if it goes away
as long as my feet can still carry me
and I can laugh with you
what more can I ask for?

Monday, 5 May 2014

write to him sy

write to him
write to him
if you're feeling alone
just imagine how he's feeling
in that concrete box
on the other side of the world
she said to me
write to him
he's becoming a mute
blood is thicker than water
be it dilute
be a friend to him
reclaim your lost comrade
write to him
you'll be so glad
when you do
write to him
write to him

Friday, 2 May 2014

frayed rims

lets meet
in the back ends
of east street
by the ledge by the river
with the mosquitoes
                          that dither
at twilight
lets meet again
lets meet again

some place
                                 some day
lets never let hope
entirely fray    
lets meet again
in that field rumi spoke of
some place
some day  

lets meet again       

cut roots

cut ma hair again
short and uneven
why did i cut it
i had no reason
perhaps it was
a tiny deletion
or an attempt
-----------to let go 
of all things rooted

hold on

there amidst the chanting
so enchanting
amongst the laughing
I was there crying
the knots began untying
the rope came loose
then an angel 
but then an angel 
but then an angel
spoke unto me
in the night
so cold, the storm
the light
had gone out
and it took
another time, for time
to forgive
the other time
--------------------hold on
                 the angel said