Sunday, 30 March 2014

a flashback

a dream
a flashback
there you were
its too late to backtrack
i heard
you went to the mountains
i heard
you went to the mountains
you went to the mountains
i heard 
you went to the mountains
-so out of reach and hollow through-
you went to the mountains
to renew
spirits, did you not?
are we not
one and the same
on top of a mountain
life is not real
on top of a mountain
the sunrise, did it heal?
did you find God
did you watch
particles, stars, constellations
                                                soon to collide
who knows
maybe you'll find me
one day, in His remembrance
(the peace that you feel is real life)

solitude in mosques

lying on a carpet
of a mosque
to the holy land
where I lost
my mind, 
as ever
two years
i'll be so far away
from here
that here
won't matter
here won't matter

Saturday, 29 March 2014

red zone

what you doing here
errr yeah
i live upstairs
in the red zone
s'why you'll find me 
often lurking here alone
I sleep in paleo
and dream in the earth gallery
I reside in a fallacy
created by a mind
          not mine
and most days you'll find
----------me in unlikely places. 

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

carries messages, nerves and cells

the inherent 
emptiness of the human condition
you know it well 
you said you would tell
me all about it
ten thousand souls you left hanging
gates crash---- a mighty clanging
cold and metallic

then one day
you look through your pockets
only to find
torn numbers and broken lockets
half-names and tasks incomplete
promises obsolete
for there is
nothingness, but You
but You, but You Lord

                         my vein is missing
my jugular vein is no more
and so everything is nothing


when the gloom
is so thick
the moon so slick
and silver
and invisible
and solitude is
all encompassing
and there's only i
the sky is only sky
clouds with nothing beyond
nothing below
nothing above
and i is nothingness
nothingness to love
just letters
that came to pass
that never last
so why do we care
               so why do we bare
the inessential

fine hawk

trapped in a mirror                         
within a dream
don't wanna wake
                                            cos that'll only mean
I'm outta time 
                I'm outta time
                                I walked on blue
I treaded across a fine 
and flimsy sheet of chalk
from above a hawk
                                 its beady beady eyes
dark, imploring demise

                      came unto me

Monday, 24 March 2014


a crystal carpet of iridescent
                     the fading moonrise
the dawn break
               the violent swans
the steam above the lake
              the worthy pines
the wooden spines
and a single thought
and a single                     thought

Sunday, 23 March 2014

it came to pass

why do you go so 
                   so mild
wholly riled 
                     and extreme
                                        you whisper
you scream
                   death come unto me!
death came to see
                                        you weren't joking
and by then it was too late

was it not too late?

and then it came to pass

here be

here be
here be peace
here be east
and west 
the meeting point
the junction
here lies
                    your soul
your sole

and it came to pass
and it came to pass

no going back 

here be 
everything you are
everything you were
the sum of it all
you've come far
but further is closer
and closer is on the horizon
the horizon never ends

here is near
here is almost here
you're almost there

keep going


you got through
you ran ten thousand miles
to a place you almost knew

the earth grew

it had to be here
here be -----everything

mornings not for people

before dawn
then dawn itself
folding in on itself
         a time 
before time, 
words wrong, 
before time
before the line
a sentence, a paragraph
an utterance
there in camden
neon lights and random
things and things
looked so different
without people
without the people
in the cold soft light of dawn
without the people
exposing and forlorn
offloading, bits of torn-----

not much later

I followed the grand union canal 
up to the path I know well
 up primrose hill
          the sky was murky and so ill
           the sun it will
not rise for me
or the youngsters already there
like they came out of 
a tv series, a novela, a movie 
about broken dreams
and love and what it means
to be that age
-------a teenage 
     are, you there, 
still? another sunrise
the sun was missing
or it rose the other way
and I wasn't looking

so I wandered back onto 
that old train 
and closed my eyes, 
wishing sleep came
when it was supposed to

and there then, it came out
the sun, in lower marsh
I had a cup of tea alone
and then at lunch 
I went home
to the river 
a home
to me 

a place to be

and even later on 
that very day
I went to see St Paul
I heard the cathedral say
it's you
 it's you again
it's you

and so I crossed the silver
but still the
whispers continued
so soft like the tunes they sung
the men with dreadlocks
and the two musicians who came
up again
and a crowd of ten thousand

but to travel, to travel and to just be
where you're supposed to

it doesn't get much better....
                          than this

bus windows

and now your leaving
to go there
the place where real life
sometimes resides
and now where am I
where am I
that there
           is a place
where you exist
sometimes I stare
 through bus windows 
and just miss

people we meet

and geometry

collecting ammonites
and firing up 


we're all made of it

you came up again

and throwing up to the sky
as night
into day
the seagulls swoop
and catch them

by the bay

from eat
from eat

wasted you took them
before you left

morrocan love
the family waited
for a stranger
they were fated 
to meet


the empty polish club
with fruit and lemons
flashing lights

and demons


faces we know
names we don't

but love
is out there-------every(where)

and tyger tyger burning bright
william blake, he was right


it lies, it connects

Friday, 21 March 2014

kitties and wool

knitting for kittens
so beautiful, you were smitten
for shining iridescent eyes
purrs so soft
you kept sewing 
you got so lost
in your stitches and thoughts
come back again
to the material world

--------no, never
you whispered 

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

take spring

 she's back; 
                        you said
5am          she's wandering around
in your head
            I saw the thread
of light, 
the sunrise
beyond the lake
I heard the birds
whimsical and pretty
noises: sound patterns in the air
I could hear,
them tweet tweet tweet in the sky
        people, we can also fly

                just go to the lake
                              and take
a deep breathe
for this is living
for spring is giving
us a chance 
to start again

 -----------take it

Sunday, 16 March 2014

dropped out

dad you once said to me
no one can live your life for you
we won't be around forever
and neither will they
listen carefully to what i have say
you can';t live in someone elses' pocket
you;re heart, sometimes you have to lock it
one day you'll understand
one day I'll understand


i need
a new muse
to diffuse
some gold beams
to re-fink
dem old schemes
I need 
a new muse
to amuse
I need
some new news
                       some how you knew        I could use
to inspire
to re-ignite the fire
within, maybe its you
maybe its you
do you never tire
of being there

with you

nothing will make you
miss your parents more than
spending time
                           with someone else's
mum I miss you
I hope you can see through
these layers
           don't listen 
to them nay-sayers
they don't know what we do
mum I love you so much
                                  it's true
mum I dream about you
a lot these days
I wonder if you visit the graves
alone now
I am with you

Monday, 10 March 2014

such/ truth

in urdu it means truth
the truth is
keep in touch
im telling you now
I won't
if I can't keep in touch
if I can't stay such
with God
or the two who raised me
the siblings who tried to make me
or myself
what makes you think
I'll keep in touch with you
nahhh I'm telling you now
I won't call back
I got a list, a goddamn stack
of lists, of all the people
who I ain't
kept in touch with
straight up, I'ma just tryna live
I won't keep in touch
don't ask me too

rip tide, terror

rip tide
rising high
the shining moon
the gleaming chalk
the midday sun
///the equinox:
escape the lot                      
of crashing tidal waves
the terror
of being cut off
on shore
                                                        cut off 
in every sense, I swore
by land and sea
by you God 
you mean more to me
than all this 
so why can't I 
be it

hostel memories, green snake

back here, in this hostel 
where I got it back 
alone, I had my back
some years ago
at present time I slack
off but against the sunset sky
the moon
the sheep at dusk 
I know there must
be so much more
much more, than this
and a list
homesick for heaven
will I make it back 
before the gates close, a procession
of heart knows 
what my soul denies
       a hundred thousand rhymes
--- I'm still here
squirming like the green snake
in the grass -
         don't go blind

viaduct 380

the golden viaduct, glorious
I saw it fast fading
through the rare view mirror
along with the fleeting evening sun, 
the blossom bloomed in a millisecond 
and it begun
to impart its secrets to the wind
                                          we spinned 
380 degrees
       380 degrees
380 degress

smiling ghosts

is it
you like to visit
death left you bereft
death left you dispossessed
                                    death it don't smile
so why run a mile
to a place

Thursday, 6 March 2014

words in an alleyway

see I got this theory
that there ain't really 
all that many people in this world
because everyone I see and meet
I seen before,
as i left through the back door
a glance, a stare, 
                            a smile
--a few to spare
that one time that one time 
                          that one time
turned into forever

and seeing you again
with that other dino guy
more than surreal, 
i recognised you 
from the colour of your highlights
in some back alley
of haringey

yeah and we
walked for a bit
and talked about shit
like gold shops and the past

you said you didn't remember 
the last time you saw me
I do, yeah I do
it was at the platform at south ken station
back when i was mental and almost through
with life

 but then
its strange like that
and you just
cross paths
when paths come undone
                            come undone


there in that place
we used to jam
all these months later
it's me and tan
who are here
this place
by that one
z---- house
but the sun
don't shine no more
not there

most things aren't

mister kabba
from sierra leone
sitting there on that bench
theoretically alone-------
you said i wanna be your friend
you said i wanna be your friend
i said naaaah you don't
you don't wanna be my friend
but i'll see you around
i'll see you around if it's meant
......most things aren't

burundi dreamers

early mornings late nights
the river
...............................i set my sights
the beautiful women from Burundi
i still haven't sent you your pictures
                    from big ben at twiight
you, your old ma, your little boy
i stroked his cold cheeks
stared at your pink suitcase
and pointed you to respite

--------------you'd just arrived

from heaven